Many of Saipan’s American residents found the road to the west Pacific by taking jobs as English teachers in Asia. For newly-minted college graduates looking to escape the gray tyranny of cubicle life in the United States, the English teaching gig is a time-honored means of escape and, sometimes, adventure.<\/p>\n
I don’t know if writer Josh Muggins has ever been to Saipan, but in 1979 he left his native Minnesota to teach English in Japan, and in 2005 published [I]How to Pick Up Japanese Chicks[\/I] and [I]Doom Your Immortal Soul[\/I] (Author’s Press, 248 pages, $13.50). This is a hilarious yarn that will appeal to many folks in the Commonwealth. <\/p>\n
No, it’ s not a pickup guide for dateless losers. It is a funny, self-deprecating, and ultimately pitiful story about being an American guy in Japan, besieged by the charms of his college-aged students. <\/p>\n
We’re talking total overload here, a self-renewing smorgasbord of temptation. Unable to measure his portions, Muggins heaps as much as he can on his plate. <\/p>\n
There is no high-minded narrative arc here, no literary tension or suspense. The book is basically a series of anecdotes, akin to a long evening of swapping off-color tales at your favorite bar. <\/p>\n
But it proceeds in generally chronological order, and we witness the fact that the teacher is aging, but, of course, the flux of students is not. So there’s a slow and steady divergence to see, as the author goes from being young, spirited, and perhaps understandably reckless, to finding himself middle-aged and, well, what? Lecherous? Seedy? Or merely libidinous? Heck, don’t ask me to draw those lines. <\/p>\n
Women who read the book can roll their eyes, sign heavily, and say, in unison, “men are such pigs.” <\/p>\n
Men, who have ever been in Saipan or in Asia, and who have been seduced, swayed, or scintillated by the legendary beauty of Asia’s fairer offerings, will simply say “oink.”<\/p>\n
Indeed, guys, if you don’t feel a bit of a kinship with Muggins, if you don’t feel a pang of empathy, and if you don’t feel a stirring of outright envy at some of his better conquests sometimes, well, then you\u2019re just the kind of person I avoid. <\/p>\n
Muggins knows how to use language effectively, and most of his tales keep rolling with action without getting bogged down with weighty description and adjectives. He’s also got a sharp pen for dialog. <\/p>\n
Any tale of lusty maidens runs the risk of veering from scintillating to smutty, and I think the book could use a serious haircut from an editor, if nothing else for the sake of displaying manners that do justice to the underlying quality of the prose. <\/p>\n
Likewise, all memoirs probably run the risk of getting a bit too dewy, maudlin, and even self-pitying. The best memoir essayist is Hunter S. Thompson, who could relate tales of shame and degradation without losing dignity, but Hunter has set a standard that nobody else will ever reach, so why set the bar that high? <\/p>\n
Still, Muggins knows how to spin a good yarn, he’s good with humor, he knows how to keep prose tight and lively, and he had the guts to move to Asia and dig into a new life there. In other words, he’s got something to say, and he knows how to say it. <\/p>\n
By contrast, most contemporary writers of first-person bent are trying to entertain us with gutless chatter about hum-drum suburbia and the soul-zapping vacuum of cubicle life; drone tales told by drones, to drones. <\/p>\n
I doubt that the drones will relate to Muggins’ book, but I think it might become a favorite with the ex-patriot set in general, and some of Saipan\u2019s cliques in particular. <\/p>\n
[I](Ed Stephens Jr. is an economist and columnist for the[\/I] Saipan Tribune. [I]Contact him via his website, www.TropicalEd.com.)
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