We spend a third of our lives sleeping. That is, of course, a rough average. There are exceptions. My pal Sparky, for example, is gunning for the two-thirds mark, and I\u2019m happy to report that he\u2019s making solid progress as he strives to minimize that awkward span of time between his first breakfast cigarette and the start of happy hour.<\/p>\n
Sleeping isn\u2019t a problem until it is a problem, and, whether you\u2019re a host, a guest, or someone afield camping, sometimes an air mattress is the best option when the number of sleepy human bodies exceeds the number of soft horizontal spaces. The good news is that air mattresses have come a long, long way from the cheap plastic products of yesteryear. <\/p>\n
This is one topic that is ripe for a fresh look, especially if the in-laws swing by Saipan for a visit and decide to encamp in your living room.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve ground through at least a dozen air mattresses over the years. Most have been mediocre at best. But I just found one that\u2019s remarkably good. <\/p>\n
My wife and I recently found ourselves floor-camping in a relative\u2019s house, where we are, at present, still ensconced. After we arrived at the airport we went to a discount store and bought a product described as: The Intex Queen 13\u201d Elevated Dura-Beam Airbed Mattress with Built-In Electric Pump. The 13 inches in the product name, by the way, refers to the height of the mattress. It cost about $55. <\/p>\n
We just wanted it as an expedient to tide us over from our arrival night until the next day, at which point we could book a hotel room. But the mattress proved to be so comfortable we\u2019re still floor-camping, which isn\u2019t a bad move considering that a decent hotel room around here is about $200 a night and a long drive from where we really need to be.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, \u201cinflation\u201d isn\u2019t just a phenomenon in economics news. An air mattress isn\u2019t worth much without air (people keep me around for these brilliant insights). I remember that back in the day we\u2019d have to employ pneumatic gymnastics with a vacuum cleaner in order to inflate a mattress. <\/p>\n
But evolution wouldn\u2019t be denied, and mattresses of more recent vintage often have ports for nozzles from small electric pumps that are about the size of hair dryers. These pumps are either battery-powered or wall socket-powered. I\u2019ve got both flavors, since my camping kit has some air mattresses. <\/p>\n
Our new Intex offers further evolution: a built-in electric pump that plugs into the wall socket. Now that I\u2019ve tried the built-in pump of the Intex I\u2019ve got all the zeal of a convert. <\/p>\n
In addition to the convenience, the internal pump seems to dampen the loud squeal that air pumps make. That squeal makes the external pumps ear-splitting affairs to use even outdoors where there\u2019s no echo effect from walls.<\/p>\n
We\u2019ll have to abandon this air mattress when our trip is over since we can\u2019t pack it with us, but we\u2019ll be buying an identical replacement when we get home. <\/p>\n
As impressed as I am with the comfort and convenience, I don\u2019t expect this to be a bulletproof affair. After all, from my experience, when an air mattress decides to fail it will do so at a random time and without apparent provocation. <\/p>\n
So, on a good day, your dart team can throw a herd of porcupines and a set of ice picks at an air mattress with no ill effects. <\/p>\n
Then, on a lousy day, a butterfly in Borneo will flap its wings. This will disturb a single molecule of oxygen in the troposphere. This will, in turn, alter the spin of an electron in the ionosphere on the other side of the planet, which will unleash a cascade of sub-atomic, quantum air events that will cause the mattress to go \u201cpoof\u201d and deflate. Or, worse yet, depending on the species of butterfly, the quantum cascade will cause the mattress to slowly leak air so that you\u2019re awakened at 3am (it\u2019s always at 3am) when the thing finally bottoms out.<\/p>\n
Or, well, something like that. I may have slightly distorted a few of the scientific details, but the fact remains that the dead hand of entropy loves air mattresses. Every air mattress will probably become a plastic pancake. However, that doesn\u2019t erase the fact that a good air mattress is still the best option in a lot of circumstances.<\/p>\n
Now if you\u2019ll excuse me, I have to give Sparky his 2pm wakeup call. We\u2019ve got business to discuss and he\u2019s a hard guy to reach these days. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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