The next time Saipan is subjected to an airless, sultry evening, take a walk through your respective village and take a moment to appreciate a new-fangled humming sound. It is the song of multiple air-conditioners coming to life. In the wake of Best Sunshine\u2019s CUC vouchers our island has been treated to some novelties. While many appreciate this gift, Best Sunshine appears to have assumed the role of a gift giver. This is a risky position to adopt in such close proximity to the holidays. <\/p>\n
Over the past week I took the liberty of surveying over 100 community members to gauge Saipan\u2019s expectations for this Christmas. The following is a sample of some of the more eccentric responses I received on this wish list. Let this be a cordial message to Best Sunshine that the people of the Marianas anticipate some innovative changes. Note that all residents\u2019 names have been altered to maintain anonymity, and I have omitted more reasonable wishes that a certain Mr. Claus will likely take care of himself\u2026<\/p>\n
Marcus Castruis of As Matuis would very much appreciate Best Sunshine\u2019s assistance in completing the construction of his house.<\/p>\n
Bernie Biscuit of San Antonio would like to welcome the plethora of new development by taking up a new sport, and requests the construction of \u201can indoor ice hockey rink.\u201d<\/p>\n
Amy Longshanks of Koblerville would like one million dollars. If this is a bit much, she will also \u201csettle for a few mortgage payments\u201d on her house and \u201ca block of Ahi tuna.\u201d<\/p>\n
Anna Bananapeel is concerned about increased traffic, and would like to see the timely emergence of \u201ca system of bike lanes and safe pedestrian corridors\u201d along all of Saipan\u2019s major thoroughfares. Her husband, Slipsona, disagrees, and feels that an islandwide monorail system would be a superior solution. We\u2019ll let the Bananapeels come to an agreement, but Best Sunshine is encouraged to consider whatever compromise they reach.<\/p>\n
Margarita Bunion of Capital Hill would love to see the road to Mt. Tapochau re-paved. She imagines \u201ca collaboration with DPW for the construction\u201d but expects Best Sunshine to provide the paving material, which would \u201cobviously consist of gems and precious metals.\u201d A yellow brick road would suffice.<\/p>\n
Sir Archibold Goldstein took his time in taking my survey, but could not come to a decision between two very different, but creative tourist attractions\u2014a \u201cfloating petting zoo\u201d or a beach supplemented with imported sand from Dubai. Sir Goldstein leaves the decision up to Best Sunshine.<\/p>\n
Arnold Gillsforlungs of Dandan would like to explore the construction of an artificial reef system on Saipan\u2019s eastside. His dream is for a reef stocked with\u201d genetically-modified, fat, lazy parrotfish.\u201d Interesting idea, Mr. G., but does Best Sunshine have the technology?<\/p>\n
John Johnson, the guy so nice they named him twice, would love to have an annual snow shower to coincide with Christmas morning. Mr. Johnson would prefer that this miraculous weather event begin its annual occurrence this December, but recognizes that this feat may require that Best Sunshine reverse the current process of global warming.<\/p>\n
Ronald Ringsabell of Garapan would like to see several new nature preserves. Ronald is insistent that these be a priority so that he may wander amidst Saipan\u2019s native flora and fauna to find his soul, which he claims was taken from him in the form of CUC vouchers.<\/p>\n
Fabio Longlegs of Kagman feels that it is important for Saipan\u2019s youth to be involved in the transformation of their island, and would like to arrange a few play dates for his children with the first-born sons of Best Sunshine\u2019s executives. <\/p>\n
Jeff Cabbagepatch of Tanapag requests a weeklong stay at the spa in the company of Best Sunshine\u2019s executives, so that he can get to know them a bit better. Now who wouldn\u2019t want this? After all, it\u2019s important that we feel comfortable with the new architects of Saipan\u2019s socio-economic structure.<\/p>\n
We can only hope that a Sunny Santa delivers this year.<\/p>\n
Clark Griswold<\/strong> The next time Saipan is subjected to an airless, sultry evening, take a walk through…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[988,49,1114,67],"class_list":["post-185911","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-letters-to-the-editor","tag-best-sunshine","tag-cuc","tag-dpw","tag-people"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/185911","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/18"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=185911"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/185911\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=185911"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=185911"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=185911"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nGarapan, Saipan<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"