{"id":190112,"date":"2015-01-23T04:00:30","date_gmt":"2015-01-22T18:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/?p=190112"},"modified":"2015-01-23T04:00:30","modified_gmt":"2015-01-22T18:00:30","slug":"tidings-near-far","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/tidings-near-far\/","title":{"rendered":"Tidings from near and far"},"content":{"rendered":"

Diving v. Snorkeling:<\/strong> In his debut speech, Sen. Sixto Igisomar candidly said the NMI is below water, financially or fiscally. He wants to work with leadership to bring it up to \u201csnorkeling\u201d level. Not quite so fast, sir. We\u2019d be at the drowning level for many moons to come. Obligations for the next decade are over $12 billion.<\/p>\n

Per glaring red figures, insightful intuition says we\u2019re headed into a dimension in fiscal crisis way beyond what meets the eye. You could spin it to deflect the truth but it would be all wax\u2014shiny but no depth\u2014at all. The fiscal temblor gets louder by the day. Dive deeper, Sixto!<\/p>\n

Tiptoeing:<\/strong> It is rumored that Lt. Gov. Ralph Torres and House Speaker Joseph Leon Guerrero would be retained to teach the guys and gals how to do the \u201cChamber Tiptoe\u201d fire dance. Their job is to move in stealth fashion any controversial legislation that runs against the grain of the wishes of \u201cwe the people.\u201d Senate President Victor Hocog wants in on the deal too. Would Hocog and Guerrero ever learn that their jobs are down here, not up there next to the pilot\u2019s cockpit? Hallooo?<\/p>\n

Fiscal Rumblings:<\/strong> A seismologist has been also hired to teach the elected elite how to steer clear of the dangers of fiscal tectonic rumblings downstairs.<\/p>\n

They were told to deliver more speeches glorifying the economic mess at home. You see, this is the indigenous way of resolving difficult issues\u2014more talk mired in uncertainty\u2014dumb it down!<\/p>\n

Call it indigenous resiliency. I\u2019m beginning to fall for this BS too!<\/p>\n

Is Santa Coming?<\/strong> Our simple folks have decided to kick back and wait for Santa\u2019s arrival this November when another 10 silvers would be handed CUC for utility vouchers. Gee! Like I said, I\u2019m beginning to like the unexpected BS and generosity of Asia\u2019s Santa!<\/p>\n

But what if Santa terminates the new Annual Christmas Drop? The Transition Team would be revived to start building bamboo reed airplanes so we begin practicing airdrops by summer. Would there be moola for the airdrop or just ta\u00f1ganta\u00f1gan seeds?<\/p>\n

Embarrassing Word:<\/strong> Nursing bouts with failed ambition to return to glory, Juan N. Babauta and Edward Deleon Guerrero were seen ordering a dictionary that excludes the word \u201cprinciple.\u201d But the duo has settled for \u201cprincipal\u201d which opens some room to maneuver in and out of political prostitution.<\/p>\n

Leadership Scarcity:<\/strong> Rota isn\u2019t suffering from the lack of goods as much as drowning interminably in joblessness! So what good would 10 40-foot containers do when people don\u2019t have the money to buy basic needs? Why sleepwalk this growing beast? Leadership, anybody? Or are they taking long lunches, again?<\/p>\n

Planning, anybody?<\/strong> With a mandate to rid the NMI of foreign workers in five years time, how would the guys and gals find warm bodies for the construction and staffing of the Saipan casino?<\/p>\n

Again, it\u2019s a demonstration of our newfound toy in \u201cadvancing to the rear.\u201d It\u2019s problematic and it happens when one fails to do \u201cdue diligence.\u201d The color and hue of sunrise now begins turning reddish like a rainbow of colors at sunset.<\/p>\n

Verbal Calisthenics: <\/strong>Magoo mentioned single Chamorro words that all must learn especially when you\u2019re boasting your new Sears Roebuck and JC Penny ties upstairs. They are \u201cOi`\u201d, \u201cAi\u201d, \u201cMagpu`\u201d and \u201cDalai\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cOi`\u201d is a short cut used when knocking on somebody\u2019s door. You say \u201coi`\u201d as you knock the door in hopes someone answers. Most folks upstairs need some rude lessons in the use of this word for the next two years.<\/p>\n

\u201cAi\u201d is an expression of a serious sigh when something\u2019s gone wrong. It\u2019s a word the hill cabal must steer clear at all cost. After all, you\u2019re blessed with a head on your shoulders with eyes, ears, nose, and mouth to use appropriately in the honest disposition of matters of state.<\/p>\n

\u201cMagpu`\u201d simply means it\u2019s done successfully or unsuccessfully. If you use it by any chance crashing into the latter, it simply means leave the scene of the crime!<\/p>\n

\u201cDalai\u201d is basically an inquisition when appalled or stunned by purposeful negligence. If you ever use this word you\u2019re in for lots of unpleasant surprises.<\/p>\n

Now if you think you could navigate the combined use of these terms, consult the physician from As Gonno for the right diagnosis. You\u2019ve killed a two-headed corn snake that keeps returning in spring. This is because you didn\u2019t get rid of the other head. Thus the crawler still moves, especially during rainy days.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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