I don\u2019t know nothing about no grammar, which is fine with me, since nobody has ever asked me what \u201csubjunctive\u201d or \u201cgerund\u201d means. Still, even a dedicated delinquent has to admit that some words are nothing but trouble, especially words that look alike, sound alike, or maybe just smell alike. Whatever they\u2019re up to, it\u2019s never any good.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m going to mention some of these stinkers, and how I try to use the most simplistic means to sort them out for the most common cases. As simple as I try to keep this stuff, though, I still mange to mess it up. If you want to contribute some corrections or wisdom, I\u2019m all ears.<\/p>\n
In the meantime, we can pretend that we\u2019re being all educational and high-minded here, so let\u2019s hunker down in the back of the class, light up a cigarette, and note some sneaky words:<\/p>\n
1) Stationary vs. stationery<\/p>\n
I botch this one all the time. \u201cStationary\u201d means not going anywhere. \u201cStationery\u201d is the stuff you buy in office supply stores.<\/p>\n
2) Discrete vs. discreet<\/p>\n
This might be the English language\u2019s biggest gotcha\u2019. If you like math, you\u2019ll recognize \u201cdiscrete\u201d as meaning elements that are individually distinct, as opposed to \u201ccontinuous\u201d elements that, like parts of a smooth line, blend together so you can\u2019t really tell where one piece of data starts and the other ends. This is where Newton and Leibniz joined the stage; they cooked up calculus, which enabled us to calculate continuous functions without having to chop them into discrete approximations.<\/p>\n
As for the deceptively similar twin \u201cdiscreet,\u201d it means not being a blabbermouth, or, in the broader sense, using sound judgment.<\/p>\n
3) Vein, vane, vain<\/p>\n
A \u201cvein\u201d is what doctors like to jab needles into, and what miners like to jab pickaxes into. Since the term \u201cin like vein\u201d is common, I\u2019ll assume that a line of thought or a type of circumstance can, just like a line of blood or gold, form a vein. Well, that\u2019s my guess. If you don\u2019t like it, I have others.<\/p>\n
Moving along here: A \u201cvane\u201d is a mechanism that pivots due to fluid or gas flow. A weathervane, which pivots based on wind direction, is an example. There might be other common meanings to the word, but I don\u2019t remember seeing any.<\/p>\n
As for \u201cvain,\u201d it means egotistical or self-satisfied. It also means futile: \u201cTheir efforts were in vain.\u201d<\/p>\n
4) Site, sight, cite<\/p>\n
A \u201csite\u201d involves a place, or putting something in a place; you site a building at the construction site. And, there\u2019s \u201cwebsite,\u201d too, so I guess that\u2019s a kind of place. \u201cSight,\u201d by contrast, pertains to seeing. And then we have \u201ccite,\u201d which means to quote something (cite a footnote) or that somebody got in trouble and has got some explaining to do (cite the offender).<\/p>\n
5) Further vs. farther<\/p>\n
If I\u2019m dealing with physical distances, I\u2019ll opt for \u201cfarther.\u201d Otherwise, I\u2019ll use \u201cfurther.\u201d There\u2019s probably more to the issue than that, but I refuse to think about it any further.<\/p>\n
6) Hanger vs. hangar<\/p>\n
A \u201changer\u201d is where you put your shirt. A \u201changar\u201d is where you put your airplane. The similarity is rooted in an aeronautical fact: Many people who buy airplanes lose their shirts.<\/p>\n
7) Canvas vs. canvass<\/p>\n
Oh, this really is a sneaky one. Sneakers and tents are made of canvas. If you wanted to sell them door-to-door, you\u2019d canvass the neighborhood.<\/p>\n
8) Effect vs. affect<\/p>\n
Somebody tried to explain this to me once, but I started drooling and fell asleep. In order to avoid another one of those episodes, I think of it like this: Keeping in mind the term \u201ccause and effect,\u201d I\u2019ll consider that \u201ceffect,\u201d as a noun, means a result of something, and as a verb, is a cause of something. So they seem to go along with each other like two sides of the same coin. Hey, maybe there\u2019s some elegant symmetry in the language here. Or maybe it\u2019s just some sort of trap.<\/p>\n
As for \u201caffect,\u201d as a verb, it\u2019s said to mean the action of changing or influencing something.<\/p>\n
I come up with this: \u201cThe weather affected the flight schedule.\u201d But: \u201cThe effect of the turbulence was to make the pilots spill their coffee.\u201d I don\u2019t think I see \u201ceffect\u201d as a verb very often, but I guess your boss could order you to \u201ceffect a victory in our battle for market share,\u201d which pretty much puts me in the drooling mode again.<\/p>\n
Well, I see that you\u2019ve finished your cigarette. Me, I\u2019m totally out of spitballs. So let\u2019s get out of here.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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