{"id":335891,"date":"2020-12-30T06:04:14","date_gmt":"2020-12-29T20:04:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/?p=335891"},"modified":"2020-12-30T06:04:14","modified_gmt":"2020-12-29T20:04:14","slug":"new-years-poems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/new-years-poems\/","title":{"rendered":"New Year\u2019s poems"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Jack Sprat\u2019s 2021 Diet Resolution<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cJack Sprat could eat no fat his wife could eat no lean<br \/>\nand so betwixt the two of them they licked the platter clean.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\n              <strong>\u2014An old English rhyme first published in 1639<\/strong><br \/>\n\u00a0<br \/>\nHe dyed his hair, to see any white on top was rare<br \/>\nshe did the same too until her gray hair turned blue\u00a0<br \/>\nhe wore young people\u2019s hats and clothing styles<br \/>\nwalked around farmer\u2019s markets and malls for miles.<br \/>\n\u00a0<br \/>\nShe bought gaudy rags from a used clothes thrift store<br \/>\nclearance clothes from big box stores, more and more<br \/>\nthey had fallen in love at a bookstore reading cookbooks<br \/>\none tried putting on, the other losing, any more weight.<br \/>\n\u00a0<br \/>\nThey didn\u2019t want to gain or lose and didn\u2019t feel very old<br \/>\nate what they wanted from recipes in cookbooks they read<br \/>\npaid no attention to their heart doctor\u2019s obesity\/skinny scold<br \/>\nloved creamy, rich, fried foods and slathered butter on bread.<br \/>\n\u00a0<br \/>\nOn their respective sizes they were never unkind or mean<br \/>\nbetween the two of them they kept licking the platter clean.<br \/>\n\u00a0<br \/>\n<strong>My Last Five Teeth<\/strong><br \/>\n<em>Three cinquains explains. Cinquains are five unrhymed line\u00a0poems invented by Adelaide Crapsey (1878 \u2013 1914). MAD\u00a0Magazine, a comic magazine, had a cartoon character named\u00a0Alfred E. Newman who had big ears and a gap-toothed smile. He\u00a0would appear on the cover asking, \u201cWhat? Me Worry?\u201d<\/em><br \/>\n\u00a0<br \/>\nDrooling<br \/>\ngumming my teeth<br \/>\nnot too many are left<br \/>\nbananas are easy to eat<br \/>\nold age.<br \/>\n\u00a0<br \/>\nNew bridge<br \/>\ngleaming white fangs<br \/>\nchewing bubble gum now<br \/>\nmastication situation<br \/>\nbubbles.<br \/>\n\u00a0<br \/>\nSmiling<br \/>\nwhat me worry?<br \/>\nnow I won\u2019t look so Mad\u00a0<br \/>\nMagazine\u2019s Alfred E. Newman<br \/>\ntooth gap.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joey &#8216;Pepe Batbon&#8217; Connolly (Special to the Saipan Tribune)<\/strong><br \/>\n<em>Joey aka Pepe Batbon is a retired educator who taught in the CNMI, NOLA, and LVNV. He is a sonnet practitioner who enjoys stargazing.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jack Sprat\u2019s 2021 Diet Resolution \u201cJack Sprat could eat no fat his wife could eat&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":322001,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[26,4471,23673,13843],"class_list":["post-335891","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinion","tag-cnmi","tag-new-year","tag-nola","tag-pepe-batbon"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/335891","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=335891"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/335891\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/322001"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=335891"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=335891"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=335891"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}