The stage was set for The Island Heavyweight
\nChampionship Fight, food fans couldn\u2019t wait.
\nSpam stood in one corner, mighty and proud.
\nHot Dog opposite the ring, obnoxious and loud.<\/p>\n
Folding chairs in the pala pala almost burst
\nUnder butts of those with great hunger and thirst.
\nThat this bout even came about was a testament
\nTo the jealously that led to this predicament.<\/p>\n
Ever since the military brought out this processed stuff,
\nThe people in the islands can\u2019t seem to get enough.
\nOne or the other meat product, locals didn\u2019t care
\nAs long as it was there on their dinnerware.<\/p>\n
Social media finally got to Hot Dog and Spam.
\nFolks dissed them really bad \u2013 \u201cIt\u2019s pseudo-ham!\u201d
\nThat soured their stomachs bad and then bam,
\nThey were no longer friends \u2013 they gonna slam!<\/p>\n
Fighting under MMA rules, Marinate
\nMy Artichokes, the set-up was first rate.
\nSpiffy Spam caps abounded in the crowd.
\nHot Dog freaks squeaked mighty loud.<\/p>\n
The round opened with a Hot Dog heave
\nThat glanced off Spam\u2019s face, I do believe.
\nSpam\u2019s cans of supporters spit out commands.
\nHot Dog would\u2019ve done better if he had hands.<\/p>\n
Experienced moving around a hot skillet,
\nThe two island delicacies soon got to it.
\nSpam flattened Hot Dog who rolled out
\nAnd popped up like a brussels sprout.<\/p>\n
The neat meats sweat grease all over the floor.
\nPoor referee Ketchup couldn\u2019t stand anymore.
\nWhen that bottle fell, the ring turned red as blood.
\nSpam and Hot Dog stood there in a tomato flood.<\/p>\n
Unable to proceed, the fight was postponed.
\nAt this time, the Heavyweight Champ is unknown.
\nSpam and Hot Dog didn\u2019t know what to do.
\nBut after the fight, they were invited to a barbecue. <\/p>\n
Bob Coldeen (Special to the Saipan Tribune)
\nBob Coldeen is a longtime TV journalist in the CNMI and is news director\/reporter of KSPN 2.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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