{"id":382997,"date":"2023-01-09T06:06:26","date_gmt":"2023-01-08T20:06:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/?p=382997"},"modified":"2023-01-09T06:06:26","modified_gmt":"2023-01-08T20:06:26","slug":"geriatric-grotesque-humoresque","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/geriatric-grotesque-humoresque\/","title":{"rendered":"Geriatric Grotesque Humoresque"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Hell? Oh, Operator is this Hell?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Hello, operator, wrong number? Is this Hell?<br \/>\nHe defied destructive devils some folks tell<br \/>\nStood upright in stance with limbs akimbo<br \/>\nHe fought tooth and nail, fought like hell<br \/>\nTo get into heaven and stay out of limbo<br \/>\nWhen he sorely missed her more and more<br \/>\nHe walked for miles and miles to her house<br \/>\nThe dirt road was long his feet were sore<br \/>\nHe snuck through a window quiet as a mouse<br \/>\nWhen inside his times were never a bore<br \/>\nYears later he drank too much, drove too fast<br \/>\nHis heaven on earth was soon to be past<br \/>\nDevils that haunt you while you\u2019re alive<br \/>\nYou will meet in hell. That ain\u2019t no jive.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Usually The Nose Knows<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Do you stick your nose in people\u2019s business?<br \/>\nCan your smell tell what meat is cooking<br \/>\nDid you just give your snotty cold to me<br \/>\nCan you tell what stinks without looking<br \/>\nAre fine wine scents inside your proboscis<br \/>\nIs your bad breath worse than your dogs<br \/>\nDoes your mustache tickle those you kiss<br \/>\nSmell difference between cow poop and hogs<br \/>\nHave you ever snorted heroin or crack<br \/>\nHas your nose been sunburned, had pimples<br \/>\nVomited and your nose brought it back<br \/>\nEnjoyed incense burning at Buddhist temples<br \/>\nSalivated at kitchen smells at Thanksgiving<br \/>\nYour nose knows some of this while living.<\/p>\n<p>***<br \/>\n<em>Joey aka Pepe Batbon Connolly is a retired educator who taught in the CNMI, NOLA, and LVNV. He is a sonnet practitioner who enjoys stargazing.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hell? Oh, Operator is this Hell? Hello, operator, wrong number? Is this Hell? He defied&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":355846,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[26,23672,23673],"class_list":["post-382997","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinion","tag-cnmi","tag-lvnv","tag-nola"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/382997","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=382997"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/382997\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/355846"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=382997"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=382997"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=382997"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}