{"id":409849,"date":"2024-06-14T14:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-06-14T14:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/?p=409849"},"modified":"-0001-11-30T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"-0001-11-29T14:00:00","slug":"Devastating-power-of-self-doubt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/Devastating-power-of-self-doubt\/","title":{"rendered":"Devastating power of self-doubt"},"content":{"rendered":"

Today\u2019s article is likely not for everyone and could be offensive to some, so read at your own risk. I don\u2019t know how many of you have ever been fat before? And whether you have or have not, you still may not want to hear what I have to say about it here.<\/p>\n

The simple truth is that being fat is not great; in fact, becoming fat is arguably one of the worst things I\u2019ve ever done to myself. Let me say again for emphasis\u2026 what I have done to myself. To be clear, I\u2019m not talking about aesthetics\u2014I\u2019ve never much cared how I look, but I am talking about how I feel or rather how it hurts (physically, mentally and emotionally). Mind you too that I\u2019m not talking about youthful baby-fat, the occasional buffet inch, or the transient layer of winter warmth, but rather about chronic obesity, defined as \u201ca long-lasting disease that results when you have excess body fat that puts your health at risk\u201d\u2014emphasis on \u201clong-lasting\u201d and \u201cdisease.\u201d It has taken me 52 long-lasting years of roller coaster rides up and down the weight scale to finally conclude that obesity is in fact a disease (self-inflicted in my case), but a disease nonetheless of the body, mind and soul.<\/p>\n

Approximately three weeks ago, I decided to hone in and confront the elephant in the room, if you will, in search of a better version of myself. I concocted some lofty, semi-arbitrary goals (or rather targets) involving weight loss numbers and activity levels then set out to make the \u201cimpossible possible.\u201d Imagine my surprise upon stepping on a scale for the first time in well over a year and seeing that I weighed 302 lbs.<\/p>\n

The scariest part of it all is that I was genuinely shocked\u2014I could never have imagined breaching the 300-lb. threshold. Fatness is a subtle killer that can engulf a person (in plain sight) and be comforting like a warm, fuzzy blanket with him being none the wiser. Even the clearest symptoms of trouble go completely unnoticed, ignored or disassociated, like the frog in a slow boil who thinks he\u2019s taking a nice, warm bath until (in most cases) it\u2019s too late. I knew I was fat, but I didn\u2019t realize to what extent and yes, that sounds ridiculous I know, but that is the truth. Just in case I didn\u2019t fully comprehend the gravity of the matter, a true friend of mine bluntly pointed out that, \u201ceven Charles Barkley (who for years throughout his NBA career was lambasted and became the brunt of everyone\u2019s jokes for being grossly overweight) never reached three hundred pounds.\u201d Charles Barkley, for those who may not know, is 6\u20196\u201d and I\u2019m 5\u20199\u201d at best\u2026 on a swollen feet day. Holy cow!? Pun intended though I am not trying to be funny\u2014just laughing in a sad, pitiful sort of way at myself. For most fat people, chronic obesity really is no laughing matter and in many cases they, as with me, won\u2019t even recognize the clear and present danger.<\/p>\n

Above all else, it is a major health issue associated with numerous diseases, specifically an increased risk of certain types of cancer, coronary artery disease, type 2 diabetes, stroke and cardiovascular disease, not to mention increases in mortality and economic costs.<\/p>\n

There is also no doubt, in my mind, that mental health issues, if not a diagnosable mental illness, play a direct role in the phenomenon of obesity. The sad truth is that many people through no fault of their own fall unto the path of a half-ton life and are either unable or unwilling to do anything about it. The sadder truth is that most people through nobody\u2019s fault but their own willfully neglect the tell-tale signs of self-destruction and can, but choose not to do anything about it. Those of us in the latter are the lucky ones and I, for one, am choosing (very publicly I might add) to do something about it. More specifically and to state the obvious, I need to consume less and burn more calories through a more controlled diet and increased physical activity in my daily life.<\/p>\n

It is that easy and also that hard. Herein lies the challenge and likely reason why people often give up. The older and bigger you get, the harder it becomes to change any habits you may have developed along the way. Among other things, the weight doesn\u2019t come off as easily as it once did and it is very easy to become discouraged (my actual reality at present). We all know or should know the devastating power of self-doubt and should expect to meet it head on and push through it at the gates, if we are to succeed. \u201cI think I can! I think I can!\u201d Yet the mere attempts at reducing calorie consumption can be a mind-boggling head-trip that takes a concerted, obsessive level of effort to manage. And, you may as well be pulling teeth to get a daily workout routine with a sufficient level of rigor started.<\/p>\n

The point is for anyone quietly suffering with obesity, it doesn\u2019t help to pretend it isn\u2019t an issue\u2014the truth is you really can\u2019t hide it\u2014and it doesn\u2019t help not talk about it; in fact, because so much of it is rooted in psychological issues, I think talking about it (even with yourself) may be a key factor in beating it. Of course, I\u2019m not one to espouse advice on the matter and putting oneself on blast in a public newspaper like this might be overkill\u2026 certainly not for the faint of heart. Still the hope is that this reaches someone who needs to hear it. We are not alone; in fact, a 2019 U.S. News article reported obesity as \u201ca public health issue that impacts more than 100 million adults and children in the U.S.\u201d<\/p>\n

As for those lofty goals I set out for myself a few weeks ago, though it is completely unnoticeable to look at me, I have managed to shave off 15 lbs. of body weight thus far and my fastest mile to date was 13 minutes and 47 seconds. That run came with an injury to my knee, but such is life as a \u201cfatso guy\u201d\u2014soon to be formerly known as such. Let\u2019s do this!<\/p>\n

For any information relating to lifestyle disabilities and the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation, please contact us at (670) 322-6537\/8 or online at www.ovrgov.net<\/a>.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Jim Rayphand is director of the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation and is a former executive director of the Northern Marianas Protection and Advocacy Systems Inc.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today\u2019s article is likely not for everyone and could be offensive to some, so read…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-409849","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-opinion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/409849","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=409849"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/409849\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=409849"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=409849"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=409849"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}