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<\/p>\nFor someone who likes to overstate the obvious, I can be shockingly oblivious to foreseeable consequences of my own decisions and how they affect me personally. Nowhere has this been more evident than in the compromised, weakened state of my body, mind and soul over the course of the last couple decades. Don\u2019t get me wrong, I\u2019ve held my own\u2014carried my own weight\u2014but (to play on a famous line from one of my favorite movies), \u201cThe saddest thing in life is wasted talent (or unrealized potential), and the choices you make will shape your life forever\u201d (A Bronx Tale). A combination of self-neglect and a series of chronically bad choices brought me to the front steps of a \u201chalf-ton life,\u201d if not to the edge of brokenness. As if by some awakening, it finally clicked that my clothes weren\u2019t shrinking, but rather my body was expanding\u2026 outward. At a mere 5\u20199\u201d (give or take), I weighed over 300 lbs. The hardest part to reconcile is how in the midst of a generally well-lived life for others I could have missed the slow and steady destruction of myself\u2014the big fat elephant in the room, if you will? It\u2019s baffling and there, but for the grace of God would I have stayed. No doubt it\u2019s taken some level of divine intervention for me to regain a sense of balance and get back on track to a healthier, more productive life\u2014a miraculous privilege for which I intend to reciprocate in-kind.<\/p>\n
There is some irony to being an over-thinker who doesn\u2019t think enough about himself, but in my experience it\u2019s in giving rather than receiving that I feel the most fulfilled. I suppose when put that way, it\u2019s not really about being selfless as much as it is about wanting to be of some value beyond living only for myself. In my 52 years of life, I\u2019ve come to the conclusion that the only life worth living is one lived in the service of others\u2014whatever that service may look like and for whomever that service may benefit whether it be one person (other than yourself) or a million.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve had the good fortune of being a father to four children and father figure to countless others whom I cared for as my own. So, for the better part of the last 27 years, I\u2019ve lived my life in the service of my children (as a single parent for most of that time). I\u2019d like to believe that I\u2019ve done and am doing my best for them, but the truth is that my best was all too often drenched with a pungent cologne of alcohol and, more often than I\u2019d like to admit, clouded with pride, sometimes wrath and always gluttony\u2014forgive me Father for I have sinned.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s in confronting some of these realities and realizing just how privileged I have been\u2014to be alive for one, but also to have lived on Saipan all these years\u2014that I decided to clean myself up and throw my hat into the proverbial ring for a chance to give back in a big way. Thus, my decision is rooted in the notion of wanting to serve our community; however, it would be disingenuous to suggest (as most politicians do) that my motives are purely altruistic. The truth is that my motives are also one part selfish in the sense that I need a purpose bigger than myself in order to feel fulfilled\u2014this job, for me, is as much about giving more meaning to my own life as it is about safeguarding (with America as our shield) the lives of all who call the CNMI home.<\/p>\n
Running for political office comes with an undertow of expectations to act and speak in ways that do not outwardly expose any flaws and in ways that conform to certain political norms, not the least of which is to put on a public front of knowing and having all the answers. The thing is that I don\u2019t have all the answers. To quote another one of my favorite movies, \u201cI\u2019m the type of person if you ask me a question and I don\u2019t have the answer, I\u2019m gonna tell you that I don\u2019t know, but I bet you\u2026 I know how to find the answer and I will find the answer\u201d (The Pursuit of Happiness). So, much to the chagrin of those closest to me, our campaign trail is littered with me saying just that, \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d For emphasis, my campaign has never been premised on a suggestion that I know all the answers to all of our problems, but rather on the assurance that I have the knowledge and experience required to lead a productive office in service to our community.<\/p>\n
And here\u2019s another thing, I may not know everything, but I actually do know a whole lot about a lot of things particularly about working collaboratively with diverse groups of people with dignity and respect for all as my guiding principle. I would not be asking for this job, if I didn\u2019t believe that I could represent our CNMI in a dignified manner befitting the strength and honor of being a true islander. The work of our delegate\u2019s office demands a measured approach with everyone on all issues at all times and I want selflessness, humility with strength and even-keeled leadership that naturally fosters unity. With all due respect to each of the other candidates, I am not convinced that they value those attributes; in fact, their professional and campaign trails are littered with evidence to the contrary. To be clear, I would love nothing more than for all of them to prove me wrong\u2014make me believe that those attributes reside in all of us. In the meantime, for the sake of the CNMI, I hope that each of us can self-reflect on how we can be better and make adjustments going forward.<\/p>\n
Come November, one of us will be the CNMI\u2019s new delegate in U.S. Congress and I want to see the most all-inclusive, representative version of whichever one of us that may be.<\/p>\n
A few more parting thoughts: I think it\u2019s dishonest to try and make people believe that \u201cas your delegate\u201d any of us can immediately solve the most pressing issues facing our community. It\u2019s not as though by getting elected we suddenly get to wield a magic wand that resolves the \u201csuffering\u201d or the \u201ccorruption\u201d or the \u201cgeo-political tensions\u201d and much less the \u201capathy and sense of entitlement\u201d that plagues our community. If any of those were within the control of our delegate, all would have been resolved since 2008.<\/p>\n
The simple fact is that this is a job which will require a day-to-day\/hour-to-hour\/minute-to-minute series of tries and more tries to address our needs with everything available to us under the American flag. A quick side note: I for one can\u2019t stand to hear about what a huge sacrifice this will be on any of us candidates. No doubt the job will be all-consuming and each of us should be prepared to give entirely of him or herself and\u2026well\u2026 that\u2019s what I\u2019m prepared to do. I view it as an incredible challenge and an opportunity to reciprocate the great privilege of being able to call the CNMI home. It most certainly is not a sacrifice, but rather a responsibility\u2014\u201cWith great privilege, comes great responsibility.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Jim Rayphand is a former director of the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation and Northern Marianas Protection and Advocacy Systems Inc.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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