Publisher John DelRosario, Jr. mentions the fable of the ant and the
\ngrasshopper from time to time. Now a politically correct version is
\nmaking the rounds through the Internet, and I figured I’d share a slightly
\nedited version of it with you.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, I don’t know who to attribute the new fable to. The version
\nI got came from a supporter of George Walker Bush for President, so I don’t
\nthink they’ll mind a bit of publicity for their opinions. I have no
\nopinion on Bush or anyone else–I couldn’t care less– but I’m mentioning
\nBush in fairness because it was from his camp that I received the fable.<\/p>\n
ORIGINAL VERSION<\/p>\n
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
\nhouse and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a
\nfool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant
\nis warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or
\nshelter so he dies out in the cold.<\/p>\n
MODERN AMERICAN VERSION<\/p>\n
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
\nhouse and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a
\nfool and plays darts and drinks Budweiser all summer long. Come winter,
\nthe shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know
\nwhy the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are
\ncold and starving.<\/p>\n
CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper
\nnext to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with
\nfood.<\/p>\n
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country
\nof such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Then a
\nrepresentative of the NAGB (The national association of green bugs) shows
\nup on Nightline and charges the ant with green bias, and makes the case
\nthat the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit
\nthe Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when he
\nsings “It’s not easy being green.”<\/p>\n
Bill and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS
\nEvening News to tell a concerned Dan Rather that they will do everything
\nthey can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he
\ndeserves by those who benefitted unfairly during the Reagan summers.<\/p>\n
Richard Gephardt exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant
\nhas gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an
\nimmediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his “fair share.”<\/p>\n
Finally, the EEOC drafts the “Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act,”
\nretroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to
\nhire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay
\nhis retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.<\/p>\n
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the
\nant’s food while the government house he’s in, which just happens to be
\nthe ant’s old house, crumbles around him since he doesn’t know how to
\nmaintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow.<\/p>\n
And on the TV, which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant’s
\nfood, they are showing Bill Clinton standing before a wildly applauding
\ngroup announcing that a new era of “fairness” has dawned in America.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Publisher John DelRosario, Jr. mentions the fable of the ant and the
\ngrasshopper from time to time. Now a politically correct version is
\nmaking the rounds through the Internet, and I figured I’d share a slightly
\nedited version of it with you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-45854","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-local-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45854","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=45854"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45854\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=45854"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=45854"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=45854"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}