Dialing frantically, Mr. North places a call.<\/p>\n
\u201cHello, hello, Al, is that you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u2018Who is this?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s me, Al. Your buddy David North.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAh, Dave, I don\u2019t think we ought to be speaking to each other right now. Uh, the evil Republicans might misconstrue it as obstruction of justice.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCut it out, Al. I really have to talk to you. I mean it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cReally, Dave, I am not so sure that would be such a great idea at this time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAl, damn it! They found out. They found out about us. The Republicans we were trying so hard to destroy–Tom Delay, Dana Rohrabacher, Dick Armey, Rep. Bilbray, Phil English–they have all found out about us, Al.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe press keeps calling me every day, and, reportedly guilty as Hell, I have nothing to say.<\/p>\n
\u201cAl, what should I do? John Del Rosario at the Saipan Tribune is ridiculing me with statements basically amounting to \u201cDirty David North Heads South.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry, Dave, but I am afraid it is not my problem anymore. I left the Office of Insular Affairs to become a Compact negotiator. You see, they picked me because everyone knows that I am a pretty \u2018levelheaded\u2019 kind of guy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry to disappoint you, Al but I am afraid I have some really bad news for you. According to a Washington Times story by Audrey Hudson (\u201cInterior official hit for on-job politics\u201d), as my superior, you knew about my illegal Republican hunting political activities all along. Yes, you knew about it, Al. Don\u2019t you be denying it now!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAh, Dave, could you please refresh my memory? I am afraid that I don\u2019t recall my stint at Interior very much.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe secret memo, Al. Remember the secret memo I sent you? Rep. Don Young\u2019s investigating committee reportedly gleaned it from my Interior computer.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat secret memo was that, Dave? Are you sure you sent it to me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAl, you, of all people, should be perfectly aware that I, as the Washington Times puts it, \u201cdrafted press releases for Democratic candidates, provided derogatory information about Republican members to campaigns and reporters, and wrote letters to the editor for constituents to submit to local newspapers,\u201d as investigators have confirmed.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe were out to destroy the credibility of the CNMI, AL: to ruin their economy, to strip them of their local democratic self-government, to malign their free market Republican allies, to increase our power-base, advance our left-wing agenda, and support our American labor unions. Don\u2019t you remember, Al? Believe me, you helped out too.<\/p>\n
\u201cDidn\u2019t you notice that the media sweatshop charges took on a whole new life the moment our Republican enemies got involved? After all, weren\u2019t we the ones feeding the media with those Republican junket charges.<\/p>\n
\u201cRemember when I wrote that nasty letter to the campaign of Christine Kehoe, who lost to Rep. Brian P. Bilbray (R-Calif.) last year, Al? I think I may have showed it to you. It read, in part, as follows: \u2018Your opponent is vulnerable to criticism on the grounds of his friendship with the Marianas sweatshops operators, and their allies, THE CROOKS THAT RUN THE CNMI GOVERNMENT [emphasis added].\u2019<\/p>\n
\u201cRemember that, Al? Didn\u2019t we have a great laugh at federal taxpayer expense, Al?<\/p>\n
\u201cAl?<\/p>\n
\u201cAl?<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you there, Al?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dialing frantically, Mr. North places a call.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-47586","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-local-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47586","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47586"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47586\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47586"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47586"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saipantribune.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47586"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}