I am on vacation. During the next few weeks, this space will feature vignettes\u2014short scenes or incidents\u2014written mostly in the early to mid-90\u2019s, when I still entertained hopes of getting paid for writing. They are all true.<\/p>\n
* * *<\/p>\n
But first: It would seem that between the new \u201cHelp America Vote Act\u201d passed in 2002 and the latest version of the \u201cUniformed and Overseas Citizen Absentee Voting Act,\u201d which went into effect on Jan. 1, 2004, it is now possible for former mainland residents who are U.S. citizens and now live in the CNMI to cast a valid absentee vote in the upcoming presidential election. In the HAVA\u2019s definition of states to whom the Act applies (Section 901), the CNMI has been left out. As it has been explained to me, former U.S. residents who are U.S. citizens and now live in the CNMI thus become \u201coverseas voters\u201d and thus eligible to cast absentee ballots The federal voters\u2019 assistance page at www.fvap.gov states in its \u201cfrequently asked questions\u201d section: \u201cYour \u2018legal state of residence\u2019 for voting purposes is the state or territory where you last resided immediately prior to your departure from the United States. This right extends to overseas citizens even though they may not have property or other ties in their last state or territory of residence and their intent to return to that state or territory may be uncertain.\u201d<\/p>\n
It continues, \u201cExercising your right to vote in elections\u2014for federal offices only\u2014does not affect the determination of residence or domicile for purposes of any tax imposed under federal, state, or local law. Voting in an election for federal offices only may not be used as the sole basis to determine residency for the purpose of imposing state and local taxes.\u201d While the federal page offers assistance in obtaining an absentee ballot, a site that\u2019s easier to use for doing so is www.overseasvote2004.com.<\/p>\n
Though it is a Kerry-sponsored site, that does not matter. You are simply asking for an absentee ballot\u2014how you vote on it once you receive it is up to you.<\/p>\n
* * *<\/p>\n
REFRIGERATION\u2014ISLAND STYLE<\/p>\n
If people had tried to tell me, before I went shopping for a refrigerator\/freezer, that the 16-cubic-foot size wouldn\u2019t be large enough for me, I\u2019d have laughed in their face. First of all, I live alone, so there\u2019s only me to cook for. No picky kids or junk food addicts, no teen-age sons with bottomless stomachs, no steak-and-potatoes spouse to have to keep the fridge stocked for\u2014just me.<\/p>\n
And I don\u2019t like to cook. So I don\u2019t need space for three kinds of fresh pasta, seven different wok vegetables, all those ingredients that go into \u201creal\u201d spaghetti sauce, or even those supposedly ever-so-versatile boneless breasts of chicken.<\/p>\n
Since cooking is not one of my favorite pastimes, and I\u2019m no masochist, I never invite people over for dinner, much less for lunch, or brunch, or even a backyard barbecue. My social life may suffer some, but obviously, there\u2019s no need for a roomy refrigerator on that score either.<\/p>\n
So I thought I was pretty safe when I purchased my 16-cubic-foot refrigerator-freezer. But I\u2019m not laughing anymore. That refrigerator gets so full that sometimes I have to give the door an extra push to get it to close.<\/p>\n
I keep bread in there, of course, because otherwise it would turn moldy in the heat and humidity. A loaf of 7-grain bread, what passes for the local version of pumpernickel (when I can find it), plain sliced white for toast, and sweet rolls for Sunday breakfasts. (I mean, just because I don\u2019t like to cook doesn\u2019t mean I can\u2019t have gourmet tastes, right?) I keep my instant soup and gravy mixes in there, too, because they always seem to get buggy if I leave them on the shelf. I also store my supply of typhoon-emergency batteries in the refrigerator, because someone once told me that was the best way to make sure they stayed fresh, and didn\u2019t rust out first. And things like medicines, antiseptic salves, so they don\u2019t go stale, or dry out.<\/p>\n
Then there\u2019s the family-size jar of applesauce, the economy-size containers of orange and V-8 and grape juice I\u2019m forced to buy because those groceries only come in economy, jumbo sizes out here.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s also four packages of baby Swiss cheese I bought before I knew the stores would start carrying it on a regular basis, and the three extra packages of the small cream cheese I always buy because the big ones spoil too fast, and the stores keep running out of small-size packages that aren\u2019t outdated.<\/p>\n
I know that sounds like hoarding, and I know it\u2019s unpatriotic to do that\u2014or at least that\u2019s what they used to say when I was growing up during World War II. But out here, it doesn\u2019t take long to figure out that you better buy it when you see it, because the next time you look for it, it won\u2019t be there.<\/p>\n
Then there\u2019s the stuff I keep in the refrigerator so the ants won\u2019t get at it\u2014like sugar, the container of honey spread and the bottle of regular honey, my supply of instant energy, like peanut-butter cups, Milky Ways and chocolate bars. I also keep the supply of fruit drops that my son sent me\u2014under the mistaken impression that they would be good substitute for cigarettes\u2014on a back shelf.<\/p>\n
Not to mention all the ordinary stuff one normally keeps in refrigerators, like butter, milk, kosher pickles, soda, eggs, mayonnaise and salad dressing, a tomato, a couple of onions, a few potatoes, cottage cheese, a can of jellied consomm\u00e9. I have to admit they\u2019re sometimes hard to find, what with all the other stuff in there, and sometimes I do lose an opened can of spaghetti sauce or olives until it\u2019s too late to do more than admire the lovely shade of mold they\u2019ve grown.<\/p>\n
You might think that I could divide some of that stuff up and put it in my freezer, like half the loaves of bread, or half the cans of juice, or that half-used jar of spaghetti sauce, for instance. But my freezer is a crammed as my refrigerator, because I keep my supply of Thomas\u2019 English muffins (minimum of two six-packs), frozen quiche (at least four) and the frozen microwave meals that are my mainstay in there. And two bags of ice, so that when the power goes out, the freezer will stay cold longer, and I won\u2019t lose quite as much food as I would without them.<\/p>\n
What really takes up the most space in my refrigerator, though, are the dirty dishes and silverware. I don\u2019t like washing dishes either, so I generally use paper plates\u2014though I haven\u2019t yet succumbed to plastic eating utensils. But I can\u2019t throw the dirty plates in the kitchen trash after the meal because the ants will get them. And it\u2019s too much hassle to take them to the outdoor garbage pail after every meal. So I stick them in the refrigerator. Since it doesn\u2019t make much sense to fill a sink full of soapy water\u2014assuming there is water\u2014just to wash one knife and fork, I put those in the refrigerator, too, after I have eaten.<\/p>\n
The problem is that it doesn\u2019t take long for the paper plates and the paper napkins and the empty microwave trays and the occasional cereal or dessert bowl to take up an awful lot of room in that refrigerator\u2014though they do get cleaned out every other week, when my cleaning lady comes. She gets paid to do dishes.<\/p>\n
I guess it\u2019s a good thing I don\u2019t drink beer, so I don\u2019t have to find room for six-packs of that as well, and I prefer red wine to white, so I don\u2019t have to find room for that either. Then I\u2019d have to buy an even larger refrigerator-freezer.<\/p>\n
* * *<\/p>\n
LATTER-DAY GRIPES<\/p>\n
I suppose it is indicative of the level of sophistication we have reached that the thought of complaining about how my groceries are bagged even enters my mind.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t stand at the checkout counter any more wishing I could have found fresh cottage cheese, or yoghurt. There\u2019s no longer any need to go from store to store in search of local cucumbers, fresh mushrooms or cauliflower. Kosher dill pickles, fresh fish, even bagels and healthy dark breads are now in plentiful supply. I\u2019ve long since taken for granted that the bag boy will also take my groceries to my car, and without my having to tip him.<\/p>\n
A few things are still lacking, like calf\u2019s liver, corn toasties, and muenster cheese, and Thomas\u2019 English Muffins are only intermittently available. None of the stores yet have insulated cold bags, so that I can safely take ice cream home. But there is fresh orange juice not made from concentrate, and even, on occasion, buttermilk and ready-to-bake Pillsbury rolls. The packaging of my groceries\u2014to take them home\u2014on the other hand, is still in its primitive stages.<\/p>\n
I try to separate refrigerated and frozen groceries as I unload my cart at the counter\u2014so that they will be packed together, keep each other cold on the ride home, and be easier to sort, so I can put the frozen foods away before they get too thawed.<\/p>\n
The principle, however, seems not to be understood by either cashier or bag boy. In accordance with a system understood only by the cashier, the groceries are rung up and passed on to the bag boy willy nilly. And he, in turn, blindly bags them as they come to hand.<\/p>\n
Asking that the cold items be kept together has no effect. Nor does it endear me to either of them when I pull the butter from his hand, remove the cheese from amid the canned goods, shove the frozen spinach into a bag he\u2019s already set aside as full. When I remember, I bring my string bags to the store. I already have more than enough plastic bags at home. Since I never seem to get the same bag boy twice, each time they are viewed with doubt and suspicion.<\/p>\n
Each time, it takes the cashier\u2019s encouragement before he even picks one up. And each time he has to be shown anew just how much they can hold.<\/p>\n
Bag boys don\u2019t seem to understand the difference between bulk and weight either. Once they discover the capacity of the string bags, they industriously load them up\u2014all the canned goods in one, all the packaged milk in another. It doesn\u2019t seem to occur to them that while I have their help in getting the heavy bags from the store into my car, it is I who have to heft each one of them from the car into my kitchen, and I am not as muscularly endowed as they are.<\/p>\n
Nor do they seem to have much of a sense for packaging. Time and time again they will put all the glass bottles in the same bag\u2014the bottle of grape juice next to the bottle of soy sauce next to the bottle of wine, without any cushioning to keep them from bouncing against each other on the pot-holed ride home in my tough-springed jeep.<\/p>\n
They are profligate with the plastic bags when I forget to bring my own.<\/p>\n
The newspapers are always separately bagged. So are shrew traps. Or roach spray. And then they knot each and every one of them to close them. In such a way that lifting the bag tightens the knot. Most of the time I manage to undo the knots before the bags reach my car. But not always. At which point I vow once again that I really am going to offer a course to all bag boys on how to properly bag a customer\u2019s groceries.<\/p>\n
(The writer is a librarian by profession, and a long-term resident of the CNMI. To contact her, send e-mail to ruth.tighe@saipan.com.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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