Pugua and culture—NOT!

Alexander Colonel Sablan said, “You can take the culture out of betel nut but you can’t take the betel nut out of the culture! Hafa Adai!”

I find it insulting that he chose to close his remarks with Hafa Adai! How’s this for MVA’s new slogan—“Hafa Adai, and a warm welcome to our betel nut spit-laden island. Please watch your step while touring our beautiful island, and be ready to dodge the red spit stains on the ground.” How can you go off quoting CNMI’s national greeting of hospitality? Does Mr. Sablan care that reckless, selfish, idiotic chewers expel their disgusting and grotesque spit on the ground? Does Mr. Sablan care that the same group of chewers use soda cans, plastic bottles, juice boxes, and McDonald’s and Coffee Care cups stuffed with napkins as their makeshift spittoons? Then recklessly leave these converted spittoons anywhere they please? Is this the type of behavior we want our kids, guests, and tourists to see? Sadly, many betel nut chewers on Saipan are guilty of this. I’d say about 99.99 percent of all chewers. This behavior of reckless and careless chewing is just like the boonie dogs pooping all over Saipan. The boonie dogs wander around and poop wherever they feel like because they don’t know any better. Well, in defense of the boonie dogs, their brains are incapable of thinking to relieve themselves in a sanitary way, unlike the careless chewers on Saipan. Perhaps the chewers suffer from brain damage caused by chewing.

So I’d like to pose a question to all chewers on Saipan. How would you like it if someone were to walk up to your front door and poop like it’s their right, then walk away expecting you to clean it up for them? Would you be okay with that? I seriously doubt it. For sure you’d be angry and demand that that person clean up the poop, right? Well I feel the same way when you spit your betel nut juice on the ground. I demand that you get some soap and water, get on your knees and scrub it up. Betel nut spit on the ground is just as gross and disgusting as the boonie dog poop. Back in the cowboy days, chewing tobacco and spitting anywhere on the ground was acceptable. Well, guys and gals of the betel nut-chewing society, those days are long gone. What happened between the cowboy days and now is what we call civilization, which is defined as an advanced state of human society. Do you remember when your parents hammered you for not picking up after yourself? Well you’re all adults now, and your parents are not around to pick up after you, so chew responsibly! Keep your spit tightly sealed in those makeshift spittoons and be sure to dispose of them in a garbage can when you’re done. And by all means, stop spitting on the ground!

The innocent victim here is the betel nut [I](areca catechu or areca nut)[/I]. Just like anything else that falls in the hands of humans, it gets corrupted, destroyed, and ends up with a bad rap.

So contrary to Alexandro “The Colonel” Sablan’s comments, Gov. Benigno R. Fitial initiating a betel nut chewing ban in government offices is a good thing. It doesn’t take away from the sting of CUC and the much opposed Feds lawsuit, but I give him props for initiating the ban.