Trust—trust! Where are you?

“I don’t trust him.” “He can’t be trusted.” “I cannot trust you, I don’t want to (work with you), (marry you), (deal with you).” How often does the word TRUST play in your life daily? How much value do you put in it? Isn’t it the most important criteria for establishing relationships with everyone we come in contact with? What does trust really mean? Can we live a healthy and normal social life without trust?

Trust is a function of several things: character, assured reliance on that character, ability, strength, truth of someone or something, and competence. Character includes our integrity, our motive, and our intent with people. Competence includes our capabilities, our skills, our results, and our track record. All are vital if we are to be respected and succeed in any venture.

The word “trust” is the most frequently used measure of evaluation in our relationship with people. Trust is the most frequently used frame of reference for our relationship with our families, our friends, our fellow workers, the businesses we deal with. Many of us also seek trust as the most important virtue in our elected representatives. Simply put—can we trust whoever and can they trust us likewise?

When we trust we feel secure. When we mistrust we are insecure and troubled. The opposite of trust is betrayal, perhaps one of the most abominable sins against another person. When we trust we give the receiver the highest compliment we can give. But why am I discussing the word Trust at this time?

We have entered a furious campaign season in which many candidates are vying for elected offices. All of them are preaching about how they will revitalize the economy, etc., etc. But not a single one talks about “trust.”

All the candidates keep pleading with us to vote for them because they are a relative, or because of any other number of motives. But not a single candidate tries to prove that he can be trusted. They talk that they can be trusted but do little to show that they can be trusted. Because trust is an abstract concept, it can only be seen and understood from actions of the individual.

In his book The Speed of Trust, Stephen M. R. Covey discusses five waves of trust. If possible get a copy and be prepared for understanding the one thing that changes everything. Mr. Covey separates TRUST into five waves.

The first wave is self-trust. To build trust with others we must first start with ourselves. It’s all about credibility. It’s about developing the integrity, intent, capabilities, and results that make us believable, both to ourselves and to others. 1) Do I trust myself? And 2) Am I someone others can trust?

Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best: “Self-trust is the first secret of success…the essence of heroism.”

The second wave is relationship trust. It involves behavior—consistent behavior. It’s about learning how to interact with others in ways that increase trust and void interacting in ways that destroy it. Quoting from Mr. Covey’s book: “Be honest. Tell the truth. Let people know where you stand. Use simple language. Call things what they are. Demonstrate integrity. Don’t manipulate people or distort facts. Don’t spin the truth. Don’t leave false impressions.”

The third wave is about creating organizational trust. Peter Drucker tells us that organizations are no longer built on force, but on trust. This concept of trust or the lack of it can be viewed daily as we watch our government in action. How many of our elected officials trust each other? How many government agencies lack trust in each other’s agency? Many of them play the game of protecting their turf rather than trying to work with trust.

The fourth wave of trust is market trust. This is defined as the principal of reputation. Oprah Winfrey once said: “In the end, all you have is your reputation.” Consider why we buy certain brands regardless of price. Market trust is all about brand reputation. Robert Eckert, CEO, Mattel tells us “Trust is the key building block in the creation of a company’s reputation, and as a direct result, its shareholders’ value.” Let me add that it is also a country’s reputation and as a direct result its citizens’ value.

Tourists come to Saipan because of our “brand name” and investors invest in Saipan because of the trust they feel about us. When that trust is smeared or lost, what do we have to offer tourists and investors? I hate to admit it, but I feel that over the past years we have not build too good of a “market trust.”

The fifth wave is Societal Trust. This is the trust we give to our society, to our fellow community members. The overriding principal of societal trust is contribution. It is an attempt to give back instead of taking. If we only take, society will break down. How much societal trust are we giving to our community? The giver creates value instead of destroying it.

In 2005, Microsoft Bill Gates and his wife, Melinda created the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation to have their billions help less fortunate people. Warren Buffet gave $37 billion (84 percent of his net wealth) to charity. In 1998, Oprah Winfrey created “Angel Network” to inspire numerous humanitarian projects. The above are only a handful of the millions of people that daily engage in creating a higher societal trust. The gift may be in money, service or love. Our gift is never too small or too large if it helps our society increase trust among each other.

“Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men is primarily
based on mutual trust and only secondarily on institutions
such as courts of justice and police.”

—Albert Einstein

Trust becomes complex when we struggle with forgiving people who have betrayed our trust. It also becomes equally complex when we try to restore the trust that we have destroyed in ourselves. Space does not allow me to discuss how to restore lost trust or how to forgive people who have betrayed our trust in them. These are problems that must be solved because if we fail to wrestle with them we will be the loser.

Mr. Covey states that “Forgiveness is not always easy. In fact, for many of us it requires divine intervention. But whether or not we choose to trust, we always need to forgive—both for our own sake and for the sake of others.”

I have chosen to discuss trust today because I feel we have lost so much of it both within ourselves, our leaders, and the outside world looking in at us. We have made serious mistakes which have cost us a great price. But if we can rise to the occasion of forgiving and healing, we will once again trust and be trusted. If we can rise to the occasion of wanting to be trusted, we will once again be trusted.

Recall that yesterday, Easter Sunday, we celebrated the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ who trusted deeply but was betrayed. And today, after thousands of years and after millions of times of losing his trust, He still trusts us.

Hopefully some of our candidates will read this and show us that they can be trusted. Let us trust that they are not merely dallying with our trust only to betray it after Election Day. If we are ever to restore the world’s trust in us again, we must begin with restoring it in ourselves.

In closing I quote again from The Speed of trust by Stephen M. R. Covey: “Through my work, community service, and personal and family life over the past 20 years, I have seen enough to convince me that on every level—societal, market, organizational, relationship, and personal—people often have the ability to restore at least some measure of trust when they have lost it… if they’re really serious about it. If they’re not serious—or if they repeatedly abuse it after restoring it—the opportunity will likely be forfeited.”

[I]“I bring you the gift of these four words: I believe in you.”