Almost running
A knee injury is thwarting efforts to log daily run times in my quest to make a 12-minute mile—I am down, but not out. The stage is set for a comeback in this personal grudge match against myself and the best that I can wish for each day is to be a better version of the person I was yesterday. It does come as something of a surprise that some people who have inquired about my very public endeavor to get healthier are more curious about my conditional run for the CNMI delegate position than they are about my actual physical ability or rather inability to run literally (as in one foot in front of the other at a semi-rapid pace)—I do hope to be running, at least slow-jogging, within the week.
About four weeks back I proposed a cockamamie scheme to run for public office, if I could lose 52 lbs. and run a 12-minute mile (all within approximately two months) as a kind of incentive or motivation to engage with a bigger purpose than myself. For many in-the-know (and admittedly for me at the time I blabbed about this idea in the newspaper), those targets seemed unlikely, if not foolish. One of my brothers was quick to add, “52 lbs. in two months is very dangerous and most likely not the best way to keep it off.” He went on to say, “Run for office, but not your grave.” He may be right, of course, and most people would likely agree, but here’s the thing… I’m not most people and the more “they” tell me I can’t do something, the more I want to see it done. Besides, “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly” (Robert F. Kennedy).
Achieving such lofty, self-imposed milestones within stated timelines are still unlikely, especially with an injured knee, but since embarking on this new challenge and for the first time in years I feel a genuine sense of meaningful progress toward a healthier mind, body and soul. This may seem irrelevant (I don’t think it is), but among other things, I took the time to teach my 12-year-old son how to play chess and have enjoyed sitting and connecting with him on that level. I can practically hear the wheels turning in his head as he formulates strategy in anticipation of multiple moves ahead—not just his own, but mine as well. I suspect it won’t be long before he takes his first win. I also wake up in the mornings and literally smell the roses and herbs with the morning’s scented breeze washing over me like rain. I can sit for hours in my garden day dreaming about everything and nothing all at once, hypnotized by the gentle swaying of leaves and elegant, blushing smiles of the flowers around me. I wish I was exaggerating—no doubt I have grown ridiculously soft in my old age—but the point is (through my most recent efforts to be a better ward of this old body, mind and soul) my senses have heightened and my appreciation for the simpler, natural joys and deeper connections with the people in my life are growing exponentially.
As for the idea of running for public office and speaking of irrelevant, if by some miracle I actually make my weight-loss and runtime goals then yes, I will absolutely run to be the next CNMI delegate to U.S. Congress. I’d feel compelled, if not inspired to do it, like it’s meant to be—I have other reasons, of course—and not for nothing, but I’d do it well. Either way, I might as well weigh-in (see what I did there?) with some thoughts for anyone interested in hearing my over-generalized take.
Through the mouths of media pundits, anonymous commenters and pandering politicians (not to be confused with those who politick from a place of conviction, experience and understanding rather than with a single aim to garner more votes), even the most clear-cut issues can become hazy and often polarizing. Take tourism for instance, a pretty clear-cut issue—more tourists, stronger economy; less tourists, weaker economy—yet to hear the talking points and varying perspectives about it, you’d think the only thing that matters is what our political leaders say about it. For emphasis… it seems to matter more what is being said than what is actually being done. The “China-or-bust” narrative is an offshoot and a good example of political divisiveness and money-face aspirations masked as concern for our collective well-being. “ANEX VI” is taking on an air of the “black lives movement” whereby it’s become offensive to say “all lives” or heaven-forbid “blue lives” matter. “All tourists” matter in this case and that includes tourists from China, but some would have us believe that saying “all” is an affront to the Chinese. Beyond that, it is disingenuous to suggest that not lifting limits on flights from China is the reason for our decline in tourism or lack thereof. It is also irresponsible to think that decisions ought to be made in a bubble and that all are mutually exclusive or worse that those which do not align exactly with our respective ideas will be the death of us all. More to the point, our economy is not the sole consideration when weighing options for more tourists from China and for that matter ANEX VI is not the only factor in whether we do or do not get more Chinese tourists to our shores. “This is a money digging world of ours; and, as it is said, ‘there are more ways than one to skin a cat,’ so are there more ways than one of digging for money” (S. Seba 1854).
On a related but different topic, cabotage is another hot-button issue and, as with ANEX VI, there are passionate leanings toward yet another request of our federal overseers to waive it for us. To hear some of the debate, one might think that anything short of waving cabotage for the CNMI leaves us at the mercy of United and their jacked-up price structure interminably with no alternative means of addressing it. While there is little doubt that limiting commercial competition is bad—hence anti-trust/monopoly laws—the economic bottom-line is not all that matters especially when delving into the fringes of foreign policy. Again, I’d contend that there are more ways to address the issue. Off the top of my head, perhaps we should be more proactive in our efforts (to include offering incentives, tax or otherwise) in courting other domestic airlines and/or opening new trade routes into other industries.
But as usual, I digress. I am faced with a literal breakdown in my physical abilities (to walk, much less run, in this case) and, if I’m being honest, the hardest adjustment is in the head. A part of me just wants to sit down and ride out the rest of my time from the sidelines (“in quiet desperation,” if you will). Life would be so much easier to simply disengage and fade into the background of self-pity; however, “Our suffering comes from our unlived life—the unseen, unfelt parts of our psyche” (C. Jung). I would prefer instead to run into the sunset of my time here. I’ve come to understand the importance of running and how it has always been a key component, if not deciding factor, in whether or not I can get to where I’m going. The thing is, “If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place” (N. Roberts).
I hope to be running soon—to be a better version of who I am and to be someone for whom my kids and our future generations would not have to “bear the burden of (an) unlived life” (C. Jung). My name is James (“Jimbo”) Rayphand. I am almost running and I approve this message.
Jim Rayphand is director of the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation and is a former executive director of the Northern Marianas Protection and Advocacy Systems Inc.
