July 17 is National Hot Dog Day

A Hotdog Returns/Dyspeptic Heartburn (2013)

They sold me right after I cooked because my smell

to them seemed piquant and delicious in the air

that aroma slowly wafting everywhere

with its warm succulent fragrance casting a spell

all around until no nose would have a nostril

that had not had its nasal passages stirred.

Then its neural receptors in the gray matter

sent everyone a most mouthwatering message

from me. Pile those hotdogs high on the platter.

But this boiled world is not my only visage.

Indeed one might say this frankfurter sometimes frys

I should acknowledge my Viennese heritage

and love for my Italian and Polish sausage allies.

Perhaps, once, with sweet relish, I dreamed of mustard.

Here is a parody of “You Ain’t Nothing But a Hound Dog,” a popular 1950’s song recorded by Big Mama Thornton and Elvis Presley. This sonnet is from 07/18/2019.

You Ain’t Nothing But a Hotdog

You ain’t nothing but a hotdog and a bun

chowin down, just a going down my throat

you ain’t nothing but three big chili dogs

guarantee gonna make my stomach bloat

some say you’re a high-class Viennese sausage cat

a plump Polish sausage cousin or some spicy hot Italian

but you’re a Texas hot a skinny weiner dog or fat

on top I want mustard, chopped onions or scallions

gotta have you any way boiled, steamed, or fried

gotta have at least two or three of you going inside

gotta have you at the ballpark, BBQ, or nearest beach

just gotta have you and your soft buns in my reach

you ain’t nothing but a hotdog with yellow mustard

finish you off with some soft vanilla custard.

Joey aka “Pepe Batbon” Connolly is a retired educator who taught in the CNMI, NOLA, and LVNV. He is the Poet Laureate of Tinian and enjoys stargazing.