Forbes for president

A friend of mine recently asked me who I thought would win the Republican presidential nomination in the year 2000. Steve Forbes (or Malcolm Forbes Jr.) came my immediate reply.

I know: Texas Governor George W. Bush Jr. is currently the Republican front-runner, the popular favorite. But I don’t like Mr. Bush. He strikes me as too much of a moderate Republican centrist, much like his old man, who raised taxes and never cut government spending.

George Bush Jr., for example, speaks of his own brand of–are you ready for this?–”compassionate conservatism.”

Oh, oh, watch out. Look out. It’s a red flag screaming “DANGER AHEAD.” For whenever the word “compassion” is uttered in politics, it means someone is planning to rob you–to raise your taxes and redistribute your hard-earned wealth. It is a clear-cut signal (alarm) that the irresponsible, liberal, do-gooder welfare state will be expanded even further, through feel-good politics.

Elizabeth Dole, of course, is still another popular presidential contender. But what does she have to offer? Only that she is a woman–and, of course, it might be nice to have the first woman president of the United States. Beyond that, what specific positions does she uphold?

But here again: women tend to be much more compassionate than their testosterone-enhanced counterparts. So we essentially have the same problem as before, as Mr. George Bush Jr.: the haunting specter of so-called “compassionate conservatism.” Except that Mrs. Dole, as a woman, might prove to be far more compassionate with other people’s money than Mr. Bush, as a man, would ever care to be.

Which explains why I like Mr. Malcolm Steve Forbes Jr. so darn much. You see, Mr. Forbes is a rich, pro-growth, tax-slashing, limited government, libertarian, flat-tax Republican. Forbes is a successful, all-American private businessman. Unlike the vast majority of career politicians, he is not out to rob anybody. He merely wants everyone to be richer, according to his or her abilities; and he wants big government to get the hell out of the way, so that every American citizen can achieve precisely that: the elusive American Dream.

Forbes would be great for the CNMI. He’d leave us the heck alone and allow us to prosper with a free market economy. Forbes doesn’t buy into any of this insane trade protectionism or this job-killing minimum wage politics.

Pat Buchanon, while clearly not a welfare state-peddling compassion creep, would murder us as president. He’d kill our garment industry. Headnote 3 (a) would be the first to go. Pat, in his own right-wing isolationist way, would probably be twice as bad as any left-leaning, labor union Democratic president.

Pat, whom I have had the opportunity to meet in person, would close the doors to free trade and send the global economy into a tailspin, into perhaps another Great Depression–all in the name of “saving American jobs” and “America first.”

Yes, Steve Forbes is our man–and we don’t even have to send him money to support his political campaign. He has his own money. Now, how can you top that?

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