Taco Redemption?

The recent demise of Rudy’s restaurant and bar was just another note in the Saipan Economic Dirge: “Another One Bites the Dust.”

I remember Rudy’s. When I arrived here from California to set up my business beachhead, after getting cheated by the taxi for my fare from the airport to my Saipan quarters, I eventually found my way to Rudy’s, which was highlighted in an American tourist book about this region. In fact, I downed my first beer as a Saipan resident at Rudy’s. (Hmm….no brass plaque there, though).

But who needs a plaque? Rudy’s was noted for something more profound: TACOS.

Tacos, as my readers know, are a subject dear to my heart. I’ve scribedmore than one piece lamenting the fact we’re at a loss for a Taco Bell.

Rudy’s hosted dollar taco night on Thursdays. And, on an island with a dearth of tacos, a buck a pop is reason to celebrate. And a reason to eat. And, of course, a reason to drink beers to wash down all those tacos.

Alas, beers and tacos on Thursdays do not a business make. Rudy’s bankruptcy marked a visible turn in Saipan’s economic death spiral.

I presented this problem to the other “haole” hangout, the Oleai beach bar. I marched straight up to the proprietor, Cantankerous Jerry. I bummed a cigarette, and said “Jerry, we don’t have dollar tacos on this island anymore.”

At first, Jerry merely cursed my heritage, my mere existence, and, as always, my military affiliation. On this last note, Jerry is a proud Zoomie, and sometimes you’ll find a few Zoomies looming in the place like social lepers, licking their chancres in a dim corner of the bar, and telling recycled flying stories (“and there I wuz, three clicks over the Yoo Fung river with Charlie at my six-o’clock…”)

Well, Charlie don’t surf…and he don’t eat tacos, either. Me, I need tacos. So I bummed another cigarette from Jerry and told him I’m going to drop Napalm on that bar of his if he won’t come up with a dollar taco night for the displaced casualties of Rudy’s closure.

I’m happy to report that Jerry said he’ll give dollar taco night a try, and perhaps even host it on Fridays.
Fridays? Cool. That’s better than Thursdays.

It’s too early to celebrate yet, all this is just tentative, but perhaps we’ve achieved taco redemption. Perhaps, even, the taco situation will be even better than it was before, considering that Oleai beach is more scenic than the rat-swamp where Rudy’s stood.

But who will be around to eat the tacos? Hmm…good question. Rudy’s main clientele, professional Americanos, became the suitcase squad. The exodus appears to have accelerated lately, as it’s become evident that the Commonwealth will do everything possible to subvert its own economy.

Hopefully, though, those who haven’t yet fled will at least have a place to belly-up to the bar and order a beer and a dollar taco.