How to ‘court’ a Pinay

In today’s column, instead of discussing such somber subjects as economics, politics or philosophy, I would like to take a moment and talk about “courting” the much coveted Filipino woman. In this connection, there are a few key points to always keep firmly in mind.

For instance, don’t be a “cheap Charlie.” Don’t be “Mr. Kuripot” or worse–“Mr. Super Kuripot.” Be fairly generous with your fiscal means. Show her (and her friends and family, especially) that you are a man with “a big kind heart”–one who can take care of his friends and family members.

To be a generous godfather figure instead of miserly scrooge elevates a man’s status and face in their culture. Almost nothing is more shameful than being excessively tight-fisted.
Never say, “You know, if I were to marry, I would have to first negotiate some sort of pre-nuptial agreement to safeguard my fairly extensive financial interests against possible loss in the event of a marital disintegration contingency.” Such statements will get a man nowhere.

You also don’t want to say: “You know, if it were my birthday, I would not be in favor of treating anybody or having guests over. I don’t like hosting parties. I much prefer a life of privacy and seclusion.” The Filipino culture tends to be extremely sociable.

While we are on the subject of sociability and generosity, we also don’t want to say: “You know, if I were to marry, I would most definitely NOT be in favor of supporting my in-laws, having them live with me, or paying for them to come visit my wife and family.”

On a separate note, one other thing to keep in mind: Don’t be too serious, grave, somber or overly intellectual when courting her. In most cases, don’t bring up highly cerebral novels or philosophical tracts.

And, by all means, as fascinating as it is, do refrain from discussing economics! A frank discussion of price theory, elasticity, and marginal utilities will only sink your stock in her eyes.

Do be playful. It is entirely OK to be silly, even downright frivolous. Humor and lighthearted banter always seem to work in my friend “Manila Ralph’s” extensive experiences.

One other thing you never want to do: Never say, “I am not a Christian, I am not Catholic, and I certainly don’t believe in a Divine Creator.” Again, this will get you nowhere (but with the mainland Chinese, it is OK to admit as much). You want to portray yourself as an upright, God-fearing, church-going, devoutly Christian man–not some kind of depraved atheistic, secular humanist.

And, finally, if she ever asks you if you have ever been to the Republic of the Philippines, you never–ever– want to volunteer that you have been to Angeles City. “Angeles City?” you say. “Gee, I never heard of it.”