Horizontal pin stripes
Saipan’s crime woes remain headline fodder here. Meanwhile, Uncle Sam has a headline of his own in the making: This year (so I predict) the number of folks in U.S. hoosegows will top the 2 million mark.
Two million…that’s a lot of folks in horizontal pin stripes. By my reckoning, it exceeds the population of each of the following states: West Virginia, Nevada, New Mexico, Nebraska, Maine, Idaho, Hawaii, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Montana, Delaware, South Dakota (wherever the hell that is), North Dakota (ditto), Alaska, and Wyoming.
Oh, and Vermont. Almost forgot that one. I think it’s in South Dakota somewhere.
There are towns in which prisons are the major industry, the big enchilada employer. I know a correctional officer in California who seemingly lives as well as some doctors do; he’s got a massive house on the hill, two nice cars–or is it three now–and even a beautiful wife to cap the deal. Not bad at all. And talk about job security–this guy is in a growth industry, big time. He’ll always have a job. And, after that, a sweet retirement too…while I’m sure most of my other pals and I will be toiling away in hateful obscurity because we haplessly chose to be on the wrong side of the government coin (i.e. funding it, not working for it…how stupid).
When–not if, but when–the prisoner population tops the 2 million mark, a lot of hooting and hollering will be done about it. The ghetto faction will opine that we need more tax money to build bigger, better ghettos, so welfare moms and crack daddies can breed more kids. I’m all for that, actually, given that the entertainment value is hard to surpass, and as long as they’re raping each other and not my dog, it’s all perfectly fine with me.
Meanwhile, civil libertarians–if there are any left–will observe that many folks locked up were guilty of “victimless” transgressions, such as drug offenses. This point is worthy of thoughtful discourse, but “thought,” if not overtly illegal, is pretty unpopular these days, so I’ll let that one pass. After all, anyone who doesn’t know where South Dakota is shouldn’t weigh in on such intellectual matters.
America’s days of low crime were among many things sacrificed when the nation declared war on its own culture. There are entire cities–and I know, because I’ve seen some of them–that have been written off as uninhabitable based on the nation’s New Reality. It’s more of a regional issue than a blanket national one, but these kinds of trends tend to manifest exponentially…which is a fancy way to say that snowballs roll downhill. This is going to be THE major issue in about 10 years stateside.
Which, for us, will provide a fun show, what with C.O.P.S. on TV and all of that. On a more somber note, however, I’ve known of a few people to leave Saipan because of violent crime worries. Saipan is a friendly place to live, and I, for one, hope we keep it that way. If we don’t, though, we can only blame ourselves…and then maybe move to South Dakota…if only I could find my map.
Ed Stephens, Jr. is an economist and columnist for the Saipan Tribune. “Ed4Saipan@yahoo.com”
