Beauty – mind, body and spirit

When I was 10 years old, I was carefree. I ran around the playground with my friends and never cared how I looked, even if there was mud on my face. One of my friends had a completely different way of thinking.

First, I must describe my friend. She was a skinny fourth grader with brown hair and huge brown eyes. She was always smiling for no reason. She was great. She only wore pants, even in the blistering heat of a summer July. I asked her why, and she said her legs were ugly, a comment I dismissed without much thought. She would disappear for weeks at a time. When we asked, she always said she was sick, and then changed the subject. Then one day, she was gone.

I called and her mom told me she was in the hospital, and probably wouldn’t be coming back for a long time. When I asked why, her mom started crying and told me she was anorexic, and had to go to a clinic in Makati City for treatment.

I had no idea what anorexia was, so the next day I went to the library. When I found out, I was devastated. All of it made sense, except for one thing. She was only ten years old. I called her and we talked for a while, though we never mentioned her illness. Just the idea of talking about it choked me up.

I moved away and didn’t call her for a while. When I did, a nurse told me she had passed away. I cried, and did all the things any friend would do, except call her family. I wasn’t sure when she had died, and didn’t know what to say even if I did.

My friend isn’t the only girl who’s been infected by the world around her. Girls in today’s society are constantly bombarded with media telling them they need to be 5’10”, 110 pounds, dying their hair, and wearing makeup, low-cut jeans, and navel-baring, extra-tight shirts.

Heroines in movies and TV shows, and major female musicians, are nearly always unusually skinny and end up as beautiful spokeswomen for major hair, makeup, or clothing companies too. All of these put together roughly translate into the following: You, yes you, are too ugly, too fat and too authentic to make it in the real world.

The problem seems to most affect teenage girls, which is no surprise if you consider all the advertisements aimed at them. Majority of girls influenced by magazine pictures and advertisements say they want to lose weight, while the remaining percent of them were actually overweight.

Body image is a problem in today’s society. Girls are starving themselves. The media tells girls things they think they want to hear. Contrary to popular belief, however, you, yes you, are perfectly fine just the way you are.

People all over the world are disoriented, confused and ignorant of their physical beings. They have lost touch with their bodies. The idea that the mind and body are intricately and irreversibly connected is a fairly recent idea. The notion that good eating and exercise must be combined with education and thought to form personal peace is a good idea, but it is not the whole picture. There is another factor in mind/body well being, and that is how we feel about our physical selves.

It is necessary to feel confident about how we look. This does not mean we alter ourselves in any way or conform to look like a model in a magazine; it means accepting the way we naturally are. The society we live in sends us many messages about our bodies. Our confidence in our overall look is directed by fashion, style and trends. But even more than that, our society sends us messages about our sexuality.

Often these messages are conflicting and confusing. Ideas in fashion magazines, pop lyrics, pornography, and even breast implants seem to encourage and support sexual behavior, perhaps pushing us into this type of behavior. And we are concerned about seeming prudish. In the words of pop star George Michael, we are told that “Sex is fun, sex is good, not everybody’s had it, but everybody should.” Yet on the other hand, we are made to feel ashamed of our sexuality.

All this shame and confusion about our bodies and thoughts is unhealthy. Shame starts in the mind, and affects your self-esteem, and your body. We fear being indecent, so we hide, fear and feel ashamed of our bodies. This is self-destructive. It prevents us from being content, and it prevents us from exploring new ideas. By feeling our bodies are dirty, we alienate an important part of ourselves.

It is important to have mind/body health. We need to accept the way we are. Sexuality is a part of being human. To be a whole, complete human, we need to embrace all aspects of our race. We cannot afford to lose our bodies.

The views expressed are strictly that of the author. Fajardo is the editor of the Saipan Tribune.