Finding Dad in each and everyone

What is Father’s Day? I hear the word at least once a year, but I never seem to grasp the meaning of it. Others would say it is the celebration of fatherhood, the person who provides all the needs in the house, the backbone of the family. Come to think of it, I can’t say that I know how that feels like. I don’t have a father.

Of course, that cannot be true. It takes two to make a child; in my case, though, it took just my mom to raise four children. In my 15 years of growing up, whenever I long to connect to my Dad, I would visit him in the cemetery. I was 5 years old when he passed away. It was a tragic accident. My sisters and I were devastated, but the pain felt by my mother and brother was greater.

Though my mom always got full credit for our accomplishments, she could not have done it without my brother by her side. He was like a father figure. Without the gray hair, the deep voice, the big strong hands, my brother was still able to take care of us as if he were our very own father.

He was young at the time, but that did not stop him from taking on the responsibility. He cooked, cleaned, and even watched us at home when my mom would be at work. He was there for us; with him, we never felt alone.

Over the years, I have come to find that I have contributed to the family as well. Helping my sisters with their school work, cleaning, and helping my mom at work, I see myself taking on aspects of the father figure that I wanted badly as a child.

My family has created a bond that will remain within us for the rest of our lives. I can’t say that it was created through the death of my father, but instead through the responsibilities each one of us took in the place of my father.

Eddie John’s manly labor around the house, Rosie’s cooking, Jonie’s hospitality, and my ability to help my mom with chores all formed the father that we wanted in life.

Though it was hard, the four of us pulled together. My mom is the foundation in the family. She is what brought us here to this world, and she is who was there with us through thick and thin.

I always wondered what life would be like if Dad were still alive. Then again, I probably would not be writing this article. It always crossed my mind, if I would still be the same person I am today. I know that there are many people out there who can relate to me. Whether their father passed away, isn’t with the family, or is off island, we all share the same thoughts. Where would I be now if my father is here with me?

I don’t quite have the answer for that, and I probably never will. However, all I can say is that life would be different for me. I will probably have a different definition of Father’s Day.

My father left us on the day before my mom’s birthday, two days after Father’s Day. Now I find myself in the same place every year, for this Father’s Day is the day my father passed away. (Cassie Dlg. Fejeran)