For better or worse

Jackson Brown Jr. gives 21 suggestions for success in life. The No. 1 suggestion is: “Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90 percent of your happiness or misery.”

Some other notable suggestions include: “Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power of prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect (#13). Be loyal (#14). Be honest (#15). Take good care of those you love (#20). Don’t do anything that wouldn’t make your Mom proud (#21).”

These suggestions could be summarized by saying: Make good decisions that will enhance your relationships and reputation. This advice is applicable in personal relationships as well as business transactions. When businesspeople become too focused on just the transaction, they may make decisions that compromise the interaction and deteriorate their relationships with employees and customers.

The results may lead to losing valuable customers and employees. It will certainly create an atmosphere of distrust and a lack of loyalty, which creates low morale, low productivity, and lower revenue.

Management consultant and author Stephen Covey tells about a time when he was consulting with a bank that was having problems with employee morale. The young president who had risen quickly through the ranks could not offer an explanation for the low morale of people who worked for him; which had lead to lower productivity and profits. Failing to determine the cause, he simply blamed his employees.

Covey states, “The atmosphere seemed poisoned with suspicion and lack of trust. For two months I ran workshops, but nothing helped. I was stumped.”

During a casual conversation, someone finally shared with Covey the underlying cause of the problem. The young boss, who was married, had broken a sacred trust with his wife by having an affair with one his employees, and everyone knew it. His lack of loyalty to someone whom he had made solemn vows in his personal life demonstrated a lack of character and trustworthiness to those in his professional life.

What people do in their personal life does impact their professional life—for better or worse. Business people and politicians who break marital commitments with someone they have a strong relationship with will also break promises made to business associates and constituents. Some “rationalize” their actions to others to justify their actions, but if you take the word apart it reveals that they are only trying to make others believe their “rational-lies.”

Hollywood thrives on fantasy and superficial reality. Actors are highly paid to pretend being someone they are not, and their make-believe world is coveted by many individuals who dream of having their lifestyle. The Greeks and Romans called actors hypocrites. Unfortunately, “adults” who are paid to have on-screen sizzling romances sometimes fail to remember their loyalties with off-screen partners.

The marital separation between actors Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston has left gossip columnists abuzz with speculation about why the A-list darlings of Hollywood would break up. Many seemed shocked that a couple that seemed to have everything going for them would end their relationship.

What surprised us was not that they were breaking up, but that their marriage had lasted for almost seven years. The number of actors who stay together in a committed relationship is almost as rare as the sighting of a brown tree snake on Saipan—while the string of broken marriages in tinsel town are legion.

The ability to maintain strong relationships and influence others comes from having integrity, and integrity means doing what you say you are going to do—or in other words, keeping your promises. Without integrity there is a lack of trust and credibility. It doesn’t matter if you are the president, manager, salesperson, or janitor; if you lack integrity, your trust and credibility will be low, and your ability to lead and influence others will be diminished.

Keeping your promises to yourself and to others builds better relationships and develops a reputation for doing what you say you will do. In any relationship, honesty is paramount to building trust, fostering loyalty, and demonstrating integrity. The decisions and promises we make in life will determine our relationships and reputation with others—for better or worse.

(Rik is a business instructor at NMC and Janel is the owner of Positively Outrageous Results. They can be contacted at: biz_results@yahoo.com)