Stayman’s help?

“Forget about what the federal government is thinking. The
situation has changed and the government is broke.”

— Senator Pete P. Reyes

Boy, we must be getting extremely desperate. According to recent reports, our government is actually seeking A Stayman’s help in attracting foreign investors.

This, folks, is truly an astonishing development. It’s fantastic. It’s nothing short of amazing. It’s like asking a priest to procure prostitutes.

“We have to take care of our own problem,” said Senator Pete P. Reyes. “They [federal officials] don’t care about us . . . If we die, they will just watch us.”

The Office of Insular Affairs itself is trying to destroy our economy. For the past several years, OIA has been trying to federalize our islands, to destroy our garment industry, our local self-government, and our labor market.

Without question, the Department of Interior is absolutely hostile to foreign investment in the CNMI. Yet, here we are — asking them for help; asking Mr. Stayman to steer foreign investment our way.

That’s a lot like asking a burglar raiding your home for a personal loan. How about it? We promise to pay it back.

As it turns out, Senator Pete P. Reyes was only partially correct. Not only will the federal government just watch us as we die, they will also act to hasten our economic deaths. They will jump in, join in, and attack us while we are down.

Al Stayman monitors the Marianas very carefully. He has Jeff Schorr to keep him fully, constantly informed. Consequently, he must be fully aware of our dismal economic situation. Surely Mr. Stayman knows that our tourism industry has collapsed. Surely he knows that our government is projected to be $52 million in the red.

Mr. Stayman, no doubt, knows all about our serious economic hardships. Yet still he persists in his relentless quest to federalize our islands. He has shown no mercy, no humanitarian compassion whatsoever, no sensitivity toward our plight.

After the last US congressional elections, Mr. Stayman, fully aware of our wretched economy, delighted over the renewed prospects for the federalization of the CNMI, adding that the influx of more moderate Republicans should soon make his neocolonial dreams a reality.

This, my friends, is the man we have asked to help us attract more foreign investors. We should really be ashamed of ourselves. Former Governor Froilan C. Tenorio would never have done this. He would have told Mr. Stayman to go to . . . and Senator Pete P. Reyes would have probably agreed with him.