When society looks the other way

When he was born, like any other toddler, he was chubby and most who see my friend wanted nothing else but the opportunity to cuddle him. They did with lots of kisses and pinches too to satisfy their urge to squeeze that cute, cuddly baby.

As he grew older, the family found out to their dismay, that the cuddly baby’s childhood behavior would last a lifetime. Subsequently, he was abandoned by his mom and left to fend for himself, struggling to find that maternal love that disappeared midway while in grammar school.

I have nothing short of admiration for his dedicated efforts to stay alive under abandonment and the constant rejection even from his own siblings. In hard times, he’d search for companionship among his family and relatives. His relatives easily reciprocate not that they really want him around, but our religious upbringing leaves some room for accommodation for those less fortunate. May God bless your generosity for treating my friend with common decency.

Throughout the years, my friend would appear in the most inauspicious occasion. But family and relatives took him in for we know that however different he may be (a child even after 40 years of age), he is one of us and must be treated with compassion. It was a struggle though keeping this commitment as he takes up space in the bedrooms of our siblings for they too wanted their peace and privacy.

In the corner of my mind, I find his fate very troublesome in that he has nowhere else to go but to family and relatives. He moves around like some homeless soul in large cities who’s lost sight of the basics of life. Perhaps, it is this sense of helplessnes outside the family mainstrream thatforcibly had him seeking company among family who’re willing to give him food and shelter. I know that he understands that he’s violating the privacy of the family he lives with. But in his heart, he’s also praying that his presence wouldn’t be a bother for those he’s sought refuge with. In short, he epitomizes the fate of those who are ill and whose relatives have decided to treat them like some leper.

My friend reminds me of my other friends at the Commonwealth Health Center who are also victims of filial neglect. Some have been at CHC longer than 36 years. Each has a different case but we have simply and wrongly labeled them mentally ill. I had the opportunity to talk with some of these patients. They’re basically capable of comprehension but have no one else to turn except the nurses and staff who dedicate their time to meeting their needs. While some may have severe cases, most are capable of going through the day harmless and even willing to help around CHC in their own little ways.

I learned from the Secretary of Health Joseph Villagomez that they’d be groundbreaking a piece of property in Lower Navy Hill to build a home-like setting for these patients. This should grant them the opportunity to return to family-like lifestyle they once knew. For all we know, treating them with compassion and allowing them to engage in house chores and small gardening could just as well help them improve beyond expectations.

Perhaps this assertion is a bit too far fetched, if not, simplistic or both. I despise society’s stereotype of this group of patients who may be different but as much a part of us in this community. I’m sure that if it wasn’t for quirk of fate, they’d be as productive as anybody else treading these isles. Friends, like you and
I, they too need compassion, understanding, help and the opportunity to relate once more with normal people as they know them then. It is morally wrong to leave their fate in the hands of nurses, staff and doctors. If caring is a forte in the local culture, then let’s share it with our friends who need some measure of human compassion and understanding more so than most. Merry Christmas!