Snails and tourists

How do snail-eaters in Paris effect bento sales in Garapan?

The answer lies in the euro, Euroland’s new super-regional currency.

Euroland, by the way, consists of the 11 countries that are forsaking monetary sovereignty towards the goal of one massive, overriding, super-regional bureaucracy that can somehow keep up with Europe’s insatiable demand for bureaucrats and government authority.

By being lumped together in one, pathetic (and no doubt very foul-smelling) heap, they can all cling to each other like frightened economic dung-beetles, as the rest of the world begins to acknowledge that Europe is obsolete and nobody has any use for it. The Japanese make better cars. The Americans, better airliners. The Canadians, better helicopters. Australia makes better beer, the CNMI better garments, Singapore better calculators, India better software, and who ever heard of a computer made in, say, France?

Would you buy a computer made in France?

Of course not. Those barbarians can’t even make hot dogs.

Which isn’t really the point, though. The point is this big hairy monetary union, and the fact that the euro has just been launched. And here we get into the exciting (exciting!) fast-paced (fast!) world of global economics (hold on to your chair…)

As the euro draws global attention, banks and other institutions are putting some of their cash into euro-denominated accounts. Why? I dunno, really. Probably just fashion (if you think bankers are immune from fashion and trends you’ve never worked with bankers. With the exception of those in Arkansas facing indictment, originality isn’t their strong suit).

Anyway, since the U.S. dollar is the dominant flavor for stashed cash, the euro-fashion means that dollars are being dumped for euros. Result: a weaker dollar…which means, when we throw Japan in the equation, a stronger yen. This is a “cross-currency” deal, where activity between the dollar (being sold) and euro (being bought) effects the value of the currencies on the sidelines as well (in terms of dollars and euros).

A stronger yen makes our stuff here in the CNMI look cheaper to Japanese tourists, and, well, you know the rest of the story.

Welcome to the global market, where the snail eaters in French cafes wanted a single European currency which, so far at least, has made the price of Garapan bento cheaper for our tourists.

Where next? Everyone in the world–except me–seems to regard the euro as a credible concept. From a financial standpoint–easier transactions and such–maybe it is credible. But the underlying economic factors strike me as ridiculous. We’ll have to wait and see, but I suspect that the euro can fall from grace pretty fast.

In any event, we’ll feel the indirect consequences here in the CNMI.