FOCUS ON EDUCATION Respect and Responsibility – The bond between parent and child

As parents, we are satisfied that we have performed our parental role after we have purchased the children new school clothes, notebooks and pencils. They are fully equipped to attend school and should do an outstanding job of learning. Let the teachers handle the rest now. We feel it’s the responsibility of the school to educate our children.

But could it be that we have failed to supply the glue that will bond our child to us and motivate him or her to study? Is there something that we as parents didn’t do to create a desire in our child to want to excel in school?

Let me cite some differences of concerns for students attending school in the 1940s compared to students attending school in the 1990s:

1940s

1. talking out of turn

2. chewig gum

3. making noise

4. running in the halls

5. getting out of line

6. wearing improper clothing

7. not putting paper in the wastebasket

1990s

1. drug abuse

2. alcohol abuse

3. pregnancy

4. suicide

5. rape

6. robbery

7. assault

How the world has changed in 50 years! Have we adjusted our responsibilities to cope with the dramatic changes affected over the past fifty years? What are we doing for their emotional needs? Because the dangers of losing our children are greater than ever before, have we become more involved with their activities?

Everyone says let’s love our children and everything will come out all right. But before love connects, it must be anchored to two other words: respect and responsibility.

Without respect and responsibility there cannot be love. These qualities are inherent in love. To show respect means to show a feeling of appreciation and understanding for the other person. To show responsibility means to be liable for one’s actions, to be able to be trusted and depended on. How do we build responsibility and respect in our children? Do our children believe and trust us?

First of all, you have to accept the fact that you more than anyone else has the greatest influence on your children. They respect and sometimes fear you. They pick up on what you say and believe you more than anyone else. So let’s start frm that understanding. You have tremendous power and influence over your children. I often question if we realize this all important fact.

Someone once said to me: Show me a student who gets an “A” and I will show you parents who also deserve the same “A”. But show me a “D” or “F” student and I will show you parents who also deserve the same “D” or “F”. Where do you stand?

Study after study has shown that families make the difference in their children’s lives both at home and in school. When families are actively involved in their children’s lives and education, they achieve higher grades and test scores, have better attendance at school, complete more homework, demonstrate more positive attitudes and behavior, and rarely become juvenile delinquents. Read the paragraph again slowly and grasp its full meaning.

Researcher Anne C. Henderson in her book “The Evidence Continues to Grow: Parental Invovement Improves Student Achievement” found this to be true when she examined more than 50 studies of parent involvement.

Here is her conclusion: “Children whose parents help them at home and stay in touch with the school score higher than children of similar aptitude and family background whose parents are not involved. Schools where children are failing improve dramatically when parents are called in to help”.

The message cannot be clearer!