FOCUS ON EDUCATION Our Alienated Children

By Anthony Pellegrino

Anger! Rage! Assault!–the buzz words of many of our youth today. This is so prevalent in the United States as can be seen from the recent useless murders of fellow students in Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. This brutal student massacre is currently the largest one to date. Recall the many pervious smaller student assaults and murders preceding this colossus. Are we in the CNMI exempt from such juvenile Anger! Rage! Assault?

According to the Criminal Justice Planning Agency juvenile offenders committed a total of over 1,600 crimes in the CNMI over the past six years. There are only the recorded numbers. Who knows how many more have not been reported. Of the three types of crimes that teenagers commit–assault, burglary, and larceny-theft–39.6 percent of the total serious offenses is assault.

Something is happening to our youth causing them to lash out at their peers, parents, adults, and visitors to our islands. What makes them want to hurt other people? What are the causes of their rage? Who is to be held accountable? Are there any solutions?

Searching for plausible answers to the above questions, I feel the main cause is the breakdown of the family unit! To support this let me first dispel two myths concerning juvenile crimes.

First, poverty is not the cause of most of the anger in our youth. The United States spends billions of dollars in social services each. Yet the crimes continue. As Senator Phil Gramm once remarked: “If social spending stopped crime, America would be the safest in the world”.

The second myth is that crime is more prevalent in certain races than in others. The truth is that illegitimacy, not race, is the key factor. Illegitimacy does not simply mean that one parent is absent. It is the absence of a wholesome marriage relationship and the failure to form and maintain intact families that explain the high incidence of crime among juveniles. Staying married and ignoring the obligations of marriage is a form of illegitimacy.

In checking the background of most violent youthful criminals, it has been found that they were starved of love, affection, and dedication from their parents. Simply put, in his formative years the young person was deprived of his need to be loved and was deprived of a feeling of belonging. As a result he feels helpless and alienated.

When a parent is too busy to do things together with his children, when a parent does not show his children affection and relationship within the family unit, the child begins to feed on the emptiness which slowly turns into bitterness and finally bursts forth as an assault at anyone before him.

Parents must affirm their role by practicing four simple principles: 1) maintain good relationship in marriage; 2) love and nurture their children not only in physical but also in spiritual needs; 3) show children how to relate to and empathize with others harmoniously; 4) become dedicated parents.

As yourself: When was the last time I hugged my child regardless of age and told him or her how much I love and appreciate them? When was the last time I earnestly talked and listened to him or her as a real person? When was the last time we enjoyed something together? When am I going to turn him or her away from a potential life of anger, rage, assault toward a life of HAPPINESS AND LOVE?