Focus on Education Act Before We Lose Our Children Part I By: Anthony Pellegrino

Relating with our children has never become more difficult than it is now somehow many of us are losing the battle of a relationship with our children. We cannot rely on the old techniques that our parents used on us. Times have changed and so have the attitudes of relationship between parents and children. The outside world is now in our homes and is destroying any vestige of privacy and intimacy. We must become proactive and regain the love and respect of our children before the battle for their hearts and mind is lost. Let’s review several time proven techniques that still work.

In these troubled times concerning the upbringing of our children, we need to become more vigilant than ever before for their well being. It is imperative that we begin now before we lose them. Listed below are several suggestions to help bridge the gap between parents and children. They are not new nor revolutionary, but I hope will serve as a reminder to what we should be doing. Neglect them and you suffer the consequences.

A. Fully realize that we parents are the most powerful influence in the lives of our children. There is no greater impact. Our influence on our children lives on long after we have died. This is easily demonstrated by simply remembering our own parents. Who does not remember the impact they still have on our lives?

B. Listen carefully to what our children are telling us. Encourage them to speak to us. And when they do speak, do not lecture them. Instead encourage them to seek solutions with your help. Lecturing them will only drive them away or cause them to stop talking to us. Children need us to listen to them. They seek encouragement for solving their own problems. They don’t need nor want raving parents screaming at them for their actions. They need a patient ear and a soft shoulder to lean on.

C. Never criticize a teacher or anyone else in front of your children because your children will rarely like that teacher or person again after they hear you criticizing them. Children develop feelings towards others from the attitudes that you have about the other person. Your positive or negative attitudes towards a teacher may be the reason your child may dislike a teacher.

D. Spend time doing things together. Do activities together such as cooking, shopping, going for walks, playing. Become interested in their likes and dislikes. Share the likes and dislikes by discussing them together. It’s at these times that you and your child really get to know each other. Being too busy for them is a sure way to lose them.

E. Eat at least one meal together daily. It can be any one of the meals, but do it! How sad it is when a family does not sit down together and bless the food and enjoy it together in good fellowship. If you feel that you are too busy to spend time eating a meal with your family at least once a day, you are denying them and quietly saying
they don’t count in your life very highly. When was the last time you sat down with your family and ate together?

F. Find out what interests your child. Then guide him/her in that direction. His interest may be one that you don’t necessarily think is good, but listen and help him anyway.lf you want your children to improve in life you must encourage them. They are listening and when they don’t hear your voice they will listen to others who may lead them astray. (continued tomorrow)

Strictly a personal view. Anthony Pellegrino is a businessman and member of the Board of Education.