Who wants to marry a multi-millionaire?

Feeling rather frustrated and inadequate, my good friend Jeff Score, hedonist extraordinaire, called me today. “Did you watch that Fox special the other night?” Jeff asked. “You know, the show called ‘Who wants to marry a multi-millionaire?’”

Yeah, I saw it, I told Jeff. What about it?

“Well,” says Jeff, “I feel very bad about it.”

Why? Do you feel that the show somehow exploits, insults and degrades women? I didn’t know that you were a closet feminist, my friend.

“No,” protests Mr. Score. “Quite the opposite. I feel it is extremely unfair to all the men who are not multi-millionaires. I feel envious and just plain jealous, to tell you the truth. I wish I was a multi-millionaire, so that a bevy of gorgeous women would compete to marry me. Now wouldn’t that be something to enjoy?”

So go out and make the money, I advised Jeff. Work hard. Start a business. Save. Invest. Do something about your desire. Quit complaining. Don’t expect the government to turn you into a multi-millionaire just so you can go on the air and have a flock of beautiful women compete for your hand in marriage.

Jeff thought about this for a moment. Then he suddenly came up with “a brilliant idea.”

“How much does it take to qualify as a true ‘multi-millionaire?” asked Jeff. “Only two million, right? One million just makes you a basic millionaire. Two million automatically makes you a ‘multi-millionaire.’”

Yeah, so what exactly are you getting at, Jeff?

“Two million in what?” Jeff mused. “I could already be a multi-millionaire, you know.”

In what–Philippine Pesos?

“Exactly!” exclaimed Jeff.

Oh, no, you are not thinking about going to Manila and pushing for a “Who wants to marry a Peso multi-millionaire show, now are you?”

“And why not?” muses Jeff. “At 40 Pesos to the Dollar, I figure all I would need is $50,000 in total net worth, and that would automatically render me a bona fide Peso multi-millionaire. I am sure I have at least $50,000 to my name. Don’t you think there might be hundreds–maybe thousands–of beautiful young RP ladies who would marry an American with $50,000?

“And knowing the Philippine’s penchant for copying all things American, wouldn’t you expect that they might copy the Fox T.V. show and have me on as their lucky bachelor?”

Well, Jeff, as long as you want to be a non-U.S. currency multi-millionaire, I suppose you could go try the show out in Japan, where only $25,000 would make you worth 2.5 million Yen. Very rich indeed.