On Da Lighter Side of Paradise

I was looking for that picture perfect sunset along Kilili Beach when a bunch of guys yelled out: “Eh, braddah, time for da kine for beer, yeah?” It was a happy bunch who take life grandly, like: “Don’t Worry, Be Happy, There’s Always Mañana.”

As the loud talk–da kine guys talking jovial stories–picked up decibels, I was like: “Gee, I have been missing out on a lot of fun, yeah?” One of the guys, a teacher, wanted to know me better. So I started with my Hawaiian Pidgin English to loosen him up. Somehow, I am good with Pidgin English and proud of it, too.

Quizzed Punahele: “Eh, I understand braddah, you da kine for publisher at da kine for newspaper, yeah?”

“Yeah, braddah, it’s da kine for serious work for everyday of my life, yeah?”

Punahele: “Eh, somebody on da hill for recommend da kine build benjos all along beach road. Is da bugga for real, braddah?”

“Well, maybe da bugga is for convinced most people here have da kine for chronic diarrhea everyday, yeah?”

“Eh, it’s time for da guys for get da kine serious thinking, braddah, yeah?”

“Right! But you see braddah, some of da buggas for translate common sense for da kine ‘komun” (benjo) sense, yeah?”

“Eh, no hard feelings braddah, but gotta give ’em credit for da kine moronic creativity, yeah?”

Came my buddy Punahou who’s just about drunk out of his wits. I figure that if he braves the wheels, he’d be spending the weekend in four filthy gray walls in Susupe.

“Eh, JR, I wanna hear da kine good jokes about your people and island.”

I wasn’t sure what to offer so I braved one that I heard the night before. It was about our first experience with the use of the telephone.

A local fisherman caught one big parrot fish and wanted to tell his neighbor. He picked up the telephone and dialed his neighbor. When the neighbor answered, he said:

“Hello?”–hung up the phone, picked up the fish with both hands and said: “Hey! I caught this big parrot fish in the lagoon today”–didn’t know he was talking to himself.

Puzzled, the neighbor called back: “Hey, how come you hung up on me?”

Again, the fisherman hung up the hand set, held up the fish with both hands and said: “I was going to tell you about the big fish that I caught today near the reef”.

By that time, da guys were rolling on the tables and sand, holding on to their beer bellies. Some were even in tears, laughing! Eh, transitioning into technological progress can be difficult too, yeah?

• • • • •

There’s always that first experience, yeah? Remember, guys?–the first puppy love kiss? What did you do when you found out she never brushed her teeth? More kisses because of what we call “love”, huh?

I remember my first love letter too. I recalled plagerizing what I saw in a friend’s note, i.e., “corrections under your care”–remember this phrase. Don’t be bashful. We were learning English composition, yeah?

Remember bombarding the first government radio station here with requests for “Send Me the Pillow”, “The End of the World”, or “I Who Have Nothing” when love’s gone sour? Those were the days it’s a way to say, well, “I love you…until the next one comes”. Have a nice day!

Strictly a personal view. John S. DelRosario Jr. is publisher of Saipan Tribune.