Lil’ Mahi is the man in the NFL

When it comes time to get a job done, some people become increasingly motivated when an incentive is introduced, as is the case with the Lil’ Mahi and his weekly quest for the Miller Lite’s Pigskin Picks’ best. In the last four weeks, the little guy has been the predominant prognosticator on the local scene with an unmatched record of 47-15.

Word on the street has it that the kid loves his Pepsi, as the folks from Pacific Trading Co. have three prize packs with his name on it. While he is too young to reel in the Miller Lite that his colleagues enjoy for weekly wins, his father is more than happy to stock his ice box with 12-oz. cans of frosty goodness.

The Lil’ Mahi was the first to win the prize in Week 10 when he stood all alone at 10-4, and he did it again the following week when Cramer joined him with an identical 12-4 record. Blanco won a couple of weeks ago when he smoked the pack at 13-3, but the Cramer-Mahi tag team resurfaced to bring home the bacon once again with twin 15-1 records.

The collection of red, white, and blue cans in the Barry household borders on blasphemous, but his parents are proud of their little fish. As for the rest of the local guessing gurus, they would just as soon win a few of the final weeks to help out the rival cola cause.

Blanco still holds the overall lead with 140-52 record, and while it will take a combination of things to enable Hunter take the pole from 133-59, he has to worry more that Cramer, at 132-60, doesn’t bump him to third place.

Though he has pulled off a few zingers as of late, the Lil’ Mahi is still safely in fourth place at 117-75, while Brooks is 10 games over .500 at 101-91.

The Indianapolis Colts are far better off than the Psycho Gnome as they reached 12 games over .500 with their 35-3 win over the Tennessee Titans last week to improve to 12-0. They are only the fifth team to ever reach that mark in the history of the National Football League, and the previous four have all won the Super Bowl.

The 1972 Miami Dolphins are the only team to run the gambit by doing the whole thing without a loss, and many think that this may be the year for the Colts to join their fraternity of one.

Their next task is to knock off the Jacksonville Jaguars on Sunday in the hurricane state—easier said than done. At 9-3, the Jags are no pushovers. They are 4-1 at home and riding the wave of a five game win streak.

As good as they have been on both sides of the ball, the Colts do not have the highest rated offense. That title goes to the Cincinnati Bengals—yes, you read that right. The tiger-striped team is averaging 374.2 yards of offense per game behind quarterback Carson Palmer, who leads the league with 26 touchdown passes and is second to only New England Patriots’ phenom Tom Brady with 3,149 passing yards.

They were outgunned by the Colts a couple of weeks ago, but they look like a team on a mission. They should win their third in a row this week to pound the Cleveland Browns at home in the jungle to improve to 10-3 and possibly take a three game lead over the Pittsburgh Steelers in the AFC North.

The Steelers were looking like champs for a while until Ben Roethlisberger suffered another injury to his thumb, and at 7-5 they are teetering on the playoff edge as the wild card rivals San Diego Chargers and Kansas City Chiefs are in the postseason hunt at 8-4.

The Bolts have the fifth leading rusher in LaDainian Tomlinson (1172 yards, 17 touchdowns) and more weapons than Canada, but they are anything but a sure thing.

The Chiefs come with a potent rushing attack, but they have been pegged as a predictable team with an under achieving defense. It remains to be seen if they can punch into the playoffs and make a run at the conference championship, but they are undefeated at home in the month of December since 1996. They play in Dallas this weekend before heading off to the Meadowlands to face the Giants, but they have their final two games at home against the Chargers on Sunday, Dec. 24, and against the Bengals after a night of fun on New Year’s Day.

In the NFC, Seattle is on a roll—an eight game roll to be precise—but they are the type of team that can win big in Philly and come back home to lose to the lowly 49ers. Never mind that Shaun Alexander is leading the league with 1,388 rushing yards and 22 touchdowns. The Seahawks are about as unreliable than a cheating girlfriend who repeatedly breaks your heart.

The Seahawks look all nice and shiny at 10-2, but my memo to Seattle fans: Dump them now. Same goes for the Redskins fans because their team will be out of it soon at 6-6. A loss this week to the Arizona Cardinals will all but seal their fate.

Oh, and after knocking the Lil’ Mahi’s favorite team for so long, I owe them a few props for having the NFL’s top passing offense with 3,366 yards through the air and an average of 280.5 yards per game.

Mind you, that’s 36.3 yards per game more than Peyton Manning and the Colts. Too bad they even it out with the NFL’s worst running game. The red birds have racked up 833 yards on the ground for an average of 69.4 yards per game. That stinks worse than the Puerto Rico dump—especially when you take into account that the Atlanta Falcons have amassed 2,134 on the season and average 177.8 per game.

Those numbers are all well and good, but the Falcons are 7-5 and still in the fight while the Cardinals wish they dropped a couple more games early on so they could get Reggie Bush.