My buddy Stanley

How is everything up there on the hill with the good ol’ boys? Hit a soft spot in my last letter to the editor about you, did I? Sorry about that. Too bad about Tina and her Villagomez resolution, though. Got dumped on again, did she? What’s it going to take to learn not to buck you guys, huh? Young whippersnapper, gotta learn her place, you say. We’ll get to her later but for now let’s talk about me.

You stated “Lee Andersen” is a “false identity”? Golly, Stanley, are you in the early stages of dementia? Last I looked, my birth certificate states Lui Li (Lee) Andersen—from the Hawaiian clan of Piliwale mois, historically documented in the Bishop Museum through meles and chants about the kings and the queens who ruled over the islands of Maui, Oahu and Hawaii from the 8th century up to King Kamehameha’s unification of the islands in the 1800s—is me. And for those who are close to me, they know Lee Andersen to be me. All this is spelled out in detail in my recently published novel, Jihad! Holy War In Paradise. And the name of one of the book’s protagonist on the bottom in brilliant aqua block letters, is that of…you guessed it, Stanley, “Holani” as in “Smith”. As for me being in a “closet”? You might want to pick up a copy or two; it’s all there, simply to clear up those misconceptions that’s rattling your cage.

Now let’s get to the heart of why you and I are having this dance.

You mentioned my support for the Covenant Party? That’s incidental. We don’t see eye-to-eye on this next subject, Stanley, but what’s important is of the man himself, Governor Fitial. After a rocky three years, you’ll admit he’s made the hard decisions to correct the ills of our government due to mismanagement by the Republican Party’s past administrations and legislators since 1976. Markedly, in Friday’s newspapers, a television correspondent produced a documentary about the islands and its “sudden collapse of a tiny piece of America” and “coming back to what was once a thriving civilization that had been destroyed and abandoned.”

Now, Stanley, here’s your first reality check and please be honest on this question: During any part of the last three decades and as an elected official, what bills did you personally sign into law hastening the demise of Saipan that you and your fellow graybeards and deadwoods gleefully passed, unchecked, to bloat their pockets, stack government jobs with relatives and gofers, fatten the Retirement Fund for their eventual exit from office, and waste a billion dollars of federal funds resulting in, among other dysfunctions too numerous to list, tap water unfit to drink and a power system that stinks? Ouch!

Ahh, those heady, glory days when no one dared stop your GOP minions who, literally, controlled everything. Want to get it back, do you?

And you wrote I “spewed attacks on Representative Tina Sablan”? You’d be so lucky. C’mon, Stanley, I sincerely admire that lady, she’s got the guts to take you and that good ol’ boys cabal of yours head on. Tina is the hope for us all in good governance. The reason? She has no political debts to pay, unlike your other glad-handers up there in their never-ending, daily quest of plotting to get re-elected in November. My letters are to Tina, not about Tina, and underscores a wake up call—a jolt if you will—to redouble her crusade, to never give up the fight and to correct the wrongs that surround her, especially in the Legislature. And, thankfully, Tina has what it takes—even though the Open Government Act she’s been trying to push through continually gets body-slammed by the good ol’ boys and, unfortunately, underscored by yet another one of her corrective measures, that of investigating Lt. Gov. Villagomez. That was trashed, too.

But it’s no secret, Stanley: if you open that can of worms to expose the graft and corruption that’s so pervasive, who is to say the next investigation won’t be—you? Or them? Playing it safe, huh? You’ve filed a million court cases in the last millennium, but never against your cabal cronies. Why? Oh, I know, Stanley, it just came to me in a flash: You’ve been up there too long and know too many skeletons not to expose your colleagues so they won’t expose you. Attaboy, be nice. Now, that would make a great circus act I’d love to see!

However, Stanley, you and I will be the first to credit and acknowledge the courage of freshman congressman Camacho. As floor leader at least he tried, but failed, to get the other elected representatives to straighten up their acts and to come up with revenue generating bills. Why did he fail? Took the poor guy too long to realize the legislative body is not a center for responsible politics. So much for believing in the tooth fairy. And after all his futile efforts, what did our community get instead? Grandstanders and letter writers.

Stanley, you personally might not want to admit this but here goes: If there was ever an example of being awarded for failure, it’s the islands’ GOP culture. Yet how do we in the community know this? Every single catastrophe the CNMI is currently experiencing is due to incompetent leadership over the last three decades by you and the other graybeards and deadwoods up on the hill. And you won’t agree but our community deserves a drastic change from what we now have. They believe a clean sweep on the hill and the breakup of that gang of thieves is far overdue. How would you know that? Read the letters to the editors, Stanley. And the claim of “I have the experience” and “I am your public servant” so “vote for me again”—is hogwash.

What do you say, Stanley, if we bring back former members Absalon Waki and Cinta Kaipat, among several other past electees, who tried to make a difference but got blindsided by your “get on the train or die…” mentality? And encourage all the failed candidates in the delegate race, such as Gonzalez and Won and Davis to run. Even Propst and Greg Cruz and several letter writers who have incredible ideas to benefit the CNMI? To jump-start a failing economy with fresh faces and vote them into office? Thought you wouldn’t go for it, Stanley. But it’s better than what we have now. And our community is seriously heeding the dire warning issued by Congresswoman Sablan—especially after you and the rest garroted her Resolution 16-74 on Villagomez: “Today was a sad day for the people of the CNMI… Want change in government and leadership? …Rethink the way we vote and the people we put into office now.”

Amen.

Now let’s discuss my “groundless accusations…” of you and about you, Stan the man McGinnis. Na Wai Kekupu O’ Oe’? Auwe, Kukai Alamoku!

And honestly, Stanley, so what if other writers pick on you such as the one from Florida, in his Feb. 7, 2008 letter in the Saipan Tribune, that identifies you as a “grimy old billy goat”? Never mind. There are just too many other things to cover-up in your illustrious career.

But the one I really, really like is your courageous stand and countless attempts to “secede” the CNMI from the United States of America while you continue to enjoy all the freedoms granted in the U.S. Constitution, which account for the free perks, the free monies and last but never the least, the free access to write letters to the editors, to take potshots at those who cause you to hyperventilate and to throw us off to what you’re really up to. And that impending June 1, 2009, takeover by the U.S. Homeland Security to protect our borders? Bah, who needs it, right? With that in mind, think: If, heaven forbid, the CNMI, Guam and the Marianas come under attack from without or within, by terrorists or rogue nations, who do you think will cry the loudest for the U.S. military, the CIA and the FBI to protect him? All that is in my book, too, if you care to read it. And Stanley? I believe, deep in your heart you see yourself as being honest, am I correct? Then burn your passport—I’ll help by providing the match, okay? It’s the least I can do for a friend. To paraphrase your own words, “be a proud Chamorro”.

Thanks, buddy. Got to go, Stanley, nice talking to you again.