Perhaps love

[I]“Some say love is holding on; some say letting go. Some say love is everything, and some say they don’t know.”—John Denver, American singer and songwriter [/I]

As we prepare to celebrate Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be appropriate to examine this word, feeling, and expression called “love.” Writers, artists, poets, and philosophers have made it the central theme of movies, books, poetry, plays, great art, and songs. Since recorded history, wars have been fought over, obstacles overcome because of, and lives forever changed by this thing called love.

Even though four simple letters can spell “love,” there are nearly 30 different definitions in the dictionary that try to adequately express this intensely subjective word. And every person has their own distinct perspective on what it really means to them. Rather than focus on the word, let’s look at the essence of love as it evolves and matures throughout an individual’s life, and I’m going to start each phase with some lines from John Denver’s song “Perhaps Love” to add some poetic expression.

[I]“Perhaps love is like a resting place; a shelter from the storm. It exists to give you comfort; it is there to keep you warm.”[/I]

As a young child, love is spontaneously given and received. A baby is bathed in the sights and sounds of love, and as the child is raised in a healthy environment, he or she enjoys the comfort and peace that comes from a home that is filled with unconditional love. The home is a shelter from the storm of a cruel world, and becomes a resting place where a child can be nurtured and encouraged.

[I]“Perhaps love is like a window; perhaps an open door. It invites you to come closer; it wants to show you more.”[/I]

As an older child or teenager, love begins to take on a physical dimension where the opposite sex is noticed and becomes intriguing. The spontaneity of love is replaced with a more reserved love for someone special. This is the time when one experiences their first infatuation, and risks the possible pain of rejection by venturing into the uncharted realm of romantic love. This time of discovery allows teenagers to meet people and develop a sense of not only whom they like, but to learn more about themselves.

[I]“Love to some is like a cloud; to some as strong as steel. To some a way of living; to some a way you feel.”[/I]

Love can be intoxicating for young adults who have found their true companion. The world becomes a vibrant place to live. Everything is exciting as a couple spends as much time as possible with each other. The first thought of the day and the last one at night is reserved for that special someone who makes your life complete. Even though you feel like you’re floating on a cloud, your love seems as strong as steel. This love encourages people to make a commitment to spend the rest of their life with one special person. Eventually, that love blossoms into the birth of a child where love is renewed.

[I]“Perhaps love is like the ocean: full of conflict, full of pain. Like a fire when it’s cold outside, or thunder when it rains.”[/I]

Adults who have lived with each other for several years know that life is like an ocean wave that has its ups and downs. Children, jobs, and other commitments tend to pull a couple in different directions, and sacrifices are made that demonstrate their love in ways that their children or spouse may not realize. Those who have experienced more thunder in their relationships may find the conflict too painful to bear, while couples who have weathered the storms of life together find comfort in one another’s arms, and continue to renew their love as it matures over time.

[I]“And in those times of trouble, when you are most alone, the memory of love will bring you home.”[/I]

Love for a couple who have been together for many years may be the rod that allows them to hold on to cherished memories. Traveling together through the different seasons of their lives has bonded them together in ways that the casual observe will never understand. As children leave home, the couple has more time to redefine their relationship and rediscover the love that brought them together.

Perhaps death has caused an unwelcome physical separation, but the emotional memories are what sustain the surviving spouse until their sweet reunion is fulfilled.
[I] “If I should live forever and all my dreams come true, my memories of love will be of you.”[/I]

Perhaps true love can be expressed as a unified soul that is shared by two bodies. Over the years I have learned to better understand what love truly means as my bride of 24 years and I have traveled through the various phases of life to discover the love that binds one soul to another and has caused me to become a better person. I love you even more today than when we were first married, Janel—still my anything and everything.

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[I]Rik is a business instructor at NMC and Janel is a partner with BizResults, LLC (www.bizresults.org). They can be contacted at biz_results@yahoo.com.[/I]