Mind your manners

Have you ever noticed how rude some people behave? Manners that used to be common in society and among business people are either lost or forgotten. Manners, sometimes called “etiquette,” are polite ways of behaving in a particular social or professional situation that demonstrate respect for yourself, other people, or your environment. By exhibiting good manners, you show that you feel someone, something, or some place is important and worth treating well. In essence, everyone craves the need to feel important and to be treated with respect.

Agreements used to be made on someone’s word and a handshake because commitments were kept. If someone told you they would visit or call, you could count on it. Service providers like air conditioner, water delivery, stove or refrigerator repair people are notorious for not showing up when they say they’re going to arrive.

We were raised in homes that taught us to treat everyone with the same amount of respect and to keep our word to people. If we went over to someone’s house we were taught that if we made a mess, we were expected to tidy up the place before we left. Trash was never thrown out of the car window or on the ground, but kept until it could be thrown in a trash receptacle. It’s still indelibly etched into our minds, and we’ve tried to teach our children the same things, but it gets more difficult when they see their friends and others doing the opposite.

Today there just doesn’t seem to be a common code of conduct that is followed by civil people. It seems okay to tell people you are going to do something when you have no intention of following through on your word. Trash is found everywhere you look, and people make a mess and just leave it without attempting to clean up.

If we’re not careful, the word “manners” may disappear entirely from our vocabulary. In order to preserve some manners, here are a few for your consideration:

1. Keep your commitments. If you tell someone you are going to do something at a certain time, then make sure to do it, or call and notify the person in the event that you are late or need to reschedule. Honor your commitments to others and to yourself.

2. Phone call etiquette. Answer the phone with a greeting and state your name. If someone calls while you are out, return the call in a timely manner. If you answer the phone and it’s for someone else who is not there, make sure to write down the caller’s name and number, and promptly give it to the intended person.

3. The same goes for e-mails. Send a quick response to people so they know you received the e-mail. If they request information, follow-through on the response in a timely manner, or let them know that it may take a few days to get back to them.

4. Practice using polite phrases such as “thank you,” “pardon me,” “excuse me” and “please” to friends and strangers. You can’t go wrong by being too polite.

5. Clean up after your mess at the beach, park, or at a friend’s house if you’ve been there to visit or eat. If you have children and they helped make a mess, then teach them to help clean up before leaving.

6. Consider and value other people’s privacy. If you are on your cell phone, talk softly if you are in public so that it doesn’t interrupt others. Turn the cell phone off at movies and other inappropriate places. Don’t play your music so loud that it disturbs others. If someone tells you something personal, don’t discuss it with other people without the confider’s permission.

7. Avoid offensive behavior. Be considerate of the rights of others and avoid offending others in public by the way you talk, dress, or behave. Show the same respect you would hope others would have for you.

8. Be courteous to others. Open doors, especially if someone has their hands full. If someone is right behind you with one or two items in the grocery line, allow them to go before you if you have a cart full of food. Don’t cut in line without the permission of others in front of you.

9. Don’t interrupt other’s conversations. If you approach two people talking, pause and wait to join the conversation at the appropriate time rather than just rudely butting in. This is a common lack of courtesy among children and adults.

10. Take as much as you need, but leave the rest for others. If you are eating, be considerate of the amount of food available so others will be able to get enough food also.

11. Save energy and money. Turn off lights, water, television, fans, or anything else that costs someone money, even if you don’t have to pay for it.

12. Respect other’s time. Don’t assume your time is more important than anyone else, even if you are a doctor, lawyer, or ranking businessperson. Be early to appointments or meetings so you don’t make others wait.