The day the earth stood still

The sun stopped over Washington, D.C. one day last week while most of Saipan was sleeping, the first report of the earth standing still since way back when Joshua asked Yahweh for some help and got it.

The Florida Gators’ arrival at the While House to meet President Obama was a celestial wonder, two galaxies sliding thru each other intact, both bigger and better for having made the contact.

The While House press went gaga over meeting the college football champions and their field general, putting out a media release that read, “President Obama met Tim Tebow today” instead of “Tim Tebow met President Obama today.”

When the White House staff took official photos, Obama asked for extra copies to give to his friends.

Obama said shaking Tebow’s hand was the biggest thrill of his life, even more rewarding than being elected President.

Here’s a transcript of Tebow and the president talking in the Oval Office:

Obama: “Would you like to use Air Force One to go to your orphanage in the Philippines? I can get it for you.”

Tebow: “No thanks. I have to go back to Gainesville to donate a kidney for an 8-year-old boy.”

Obama: “Oh, I see. Well then, before you go, could you give me some advice on the Middle East.”

Tebow: “I wish I could, Mr. President sir, but I only know about teams in the South East.”

Obama: “Great analogy, Tim! We don’t really understand them and therefore we can’t say anything useful. You are a genius. I am honored to have met you. Can I get another autograph … it’s for my wife.”

After Tebow walked down a hallway, one inside staffer ripped up the carpet and took it home for a memento, replacing it with new carpet the next day at his own expense.

Before the team left the White House, staffers went ahead and confirmed a date for the Gators to return next year as national champions. Reportedly work has already begun on decorations.

The section of the White House lawn where HE15MAN stood during the ceremony is now officially called Tim Tebow Turf with a commemorative bronze plaque made by men who worked all night to complete it.

The portrait of Martin Van Buren that had hung in the West Wing for more than a hundred years has been replaced by a portrait of Urban Meyer. Tebow had joked to Obama that his coach would look better up there than old Van Buren. The next day Meyer’s picture went up and the old president’s picture came down.

After Tebow left the White House, the orange sun resumed its voyage across the blue sky.

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