Motherhood amidst adversity

Motherhood, in itself, is a challenge as a mother is basically tasked with guiding another life through the struggles they may face on their journey into adulthood (and possibly even beyond). But what happens when a mother is faced with a life-threatening adversity where she herself needs guidance? Patty Aguon-Cruz shares her triumphs as both a mother of two and a cancer survivor.

Aguon-Cruz, the mother of Dr. Bobby Cruz and Bonny Lynn Cruz Grow, is a proud Chamorro mother and cancer survivor.

She shares that to her, being a mother means everything.

“It is the title I am most proud of. You are holding the universe in your arms, and you need to care for, love, support, and be there for your children. Being a mother is my No. 1 priority. And my two kids, no matter how old or how successful and independent they become, will always be my top priorities no matter what,” she shares.

Aguon-Cruz shares insight into the moment she held her children in her arms for the first time.

“When Bobby and Bonny were placed into my arms as newborns, it felt like the sun’s warmth overcame me, and every worry in the world melted away. It was the warmest and most blessed feeling of my life,” she said.

The most rewarding part of being a mother, she shares, was witnessing her children’s many “firsts.”

“Witnessing Bobby and Bonny take their first steps, say their first words, and grow into the wonderful individuals they are today fills my heart with an indescribable sense of fulfillment. All those activities we’ve shared and countless memories we’ve made and to see them go from babies to good, strong, and brave people who care about others is the most rewarding feeling as a mom. Their story is my story, too, so I am very, very proud,” she said.

Surviving cancer

Aguon-Cruz, a large B cell lymphoma cancer survivor, shared that as a mother diagnosed with cancer, one of her greatest struggles was not being able to care for her children. Fortunately, with God’s help, she survived.

“When I was diagnosed with large B cell lymphoma, I was bedridden, and had to fight to stay alive, every day became a testament to the power of faith and perseverance. As a mother, you want to be around to keep caring for your kids, to see them grow and be a part of their lives,” she said.

She said that the journey, although rough, tested her strength and deepened her appreciation for the precious moments spent with her children.

“Not everyone gets the blessing of life I have been given, but the lesson I learned was to love deeper, have faith in all the times, and not take a moment for granted. Every day, I woke up thanking God for every blessing, for the strength to tackle each issue cancer throws at me with a positive mindset and ready to beat it. My greatest reward was the support from my kids, family, and friends. God’s been my rock,” she said.

Today, Aguon-Cruz is able to continue to guide her children and encourages them to celebrate life, success, to be happy, healthy, and stay faithful to themselves.

“[I encourage my children to] pursue their dreams with God by their side. I also encourage them to stay true to themselves and appreciate the blessing that they are. They do not have to be like anyone else because they are perfect as they are, and I am the first to love and care for them as they grow and change. Even when they stumble, they can count on me to be there to help them up and help them remember their worth. I want them to always be true to themselves and to continuously pursue their dreams with God by their side,” she said.

When asked how she maintains communication with her children even though they are older now and have their own lives, Aguon-Cruz said she takes advantage of family dinners to spontaneous adventures exploring nature to have heart-to-heart conversations with them.

“Every moment shared with Bobby and Bonny strengthens our bond and strengthens our connection. I keep it open with my kids. No holding back. They’ve been my doctors, nurses, coaches, you name it, as we communicate openly. It’s not always easy, especially in our culture, but as a mother, I learned that it is OK to learn from your kids, too. It’s OK to allow them to love you and teach you too. I know that the example and sacrifice I have set for unconditional love is something that both Bobby and Bonny will never doubt,” she said.

As for values, Aguon-Cruz said she hopes to instill the importance of family, kindness, resilience, and gratitude in her children.

“I want them to embrace life’s challenges with courage and compassion, knowing they will always have my unconditional love and support no matter what,” she adds.

Advice

As a mother to now two grown adults, Aguon-Cruz advices new mothers to cherish every moment, even the hard times.

“Time passes so fast, and each moment can be precious if you are present. Trust your instincts and remember that you are stronger than you know. Also, take good care of yourself. Savor every second with your kids. Stay positive and be a role model to the best of your ability. You don’t need to be perfect. They will know your heart and your intentions. Make beautiful memories, always keep God close in your hearts, and have faith in your children always,” she said.

In addition, Aguon-Cruz also encourages mothers to stay healthy for their children.

“Daily workouts are a must. You must care for your mind and body to be healthy enough to continue loving and caring for your children. I believe in pampering myself with a massage, mani-pedi, facial—oh, and plenty of family time, too. Everyone is different but make time to do what makes you feel healthy and happy so you can be healthy and happy for your kids,” she said.