New Year’s Volutions and Resolutions

2024 Resolutions and Solutions

All New Year’s Eve vomit is a vile ablution

pick fresh from Shakespearean attributions

think of Benjamin Franklin’s contributions

contemplate your new brain drain contusions

Are resolutions gaining more diminution

leaning forwards towards failure’s evolution

few New Year’s promises will reach fruition

many resolves require a fresh elocution

Annual promises need strong institution

many amount to drunken verbal pollution

could A I bring a resolution revolution

should we have some alternate substitution

Resolutions cause dissonance and confusion

find solutions in your brain’s convolutions.

Weight Resolution and Dissolution

I’m gonna lose weight, now for some fried chicken

with melting butter on mashed potatoes and gravy

I realize eating that will make my waist thicken

and then find all my rolls of fat wider and wavy

Last night I woke from a resolution dream

how about giving up cookies and candy

dare I include donuts cake and all ice cream

avoiding any two of those would be dandy

What about oily and fried foods of all kinds

Eating so much of it I just can’t keep tabs

high fructose corn syrup and fried pork rinds

puff out out my large twelve pack of flabs

Local photos show some with morbid obesity

weight loss for them is an absolute necessity.