A Torturous Trilogy of Sad Sonnet Syllogisms


Tweets are Not to Blame
(Inspired by William Shakespeare’s sonnet 70)
That tweets are not to blame is not your biggest problem
narcissists are often the target of ridicule
they love themselves and people laugh at them
since way back when they were in high school
when you love yourself you become a target of others
mockery proves to you how popular you are
envy eats up your rivals sisters and brothers
in denial you maintain you are a quality star
you refuse to grow old and color your hair
you suck in your gut and cover your bald spot
you enjoy toilet fixtures of gold and imperial flair
you get incensed at all the funny names you are called
your genius is disguised by being inarticulate and ignorant
the love from your base makes you always kiss up to it.

Sarcasm? Or Just a Silly Spasm
in which 45 repeats as much as he tweets
Let me repeat, he did, he did, and so did she
It’s the way he got out, the way he got out
ISIS wants to give her MVP they want to MVP
you hear me you hear me do I have to shout
it is rigged believe me believe me I heard
I never meant that I never meant that at all
your jumping on my every word every word
we’ll see in the fall we’ll all see in the fall
nobody’s listening they just don’t get it
many people said I heard many others get it
of course I was just being sarcastic sarcastic
I called National Enquirer and had them vet it
it was sarcasm sarcasm just a silly senior spasm
another example of my word use abuse chasm.

Sour and Sweet Tweets and Repeats

It came out of him many times in speeches and tweets
he said it so often it sounded like a chant or mantra
everyone became familiar with his constant repeats
‘believe me’‘no collusion no collusion’‘believe me’.
When he was laughed at and belittled in media reports
he called them ‘lying media’ and ‘enemy of the people’
he had a ready response with his prompt insulting retorts
‘believe me’ ‘no collusion no collusion’ ‘believe me’.
When he experienced international scorn and rejection
withdrew support for agreements after years of negotiation
he answered all reports with one of his repeat interjections
‘believe me’ ‘the worst deal ever in history’ ‘believe me’
So he departs from the podium and charms the nation’s hearts
repeating ‘only I can do it’ ‘stable genius’ and ‘I’m smart’.

JOEY 'PEPE BATBON' CONNOLLY, Special to the Saipan Tribune

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