Collusion Innuendo, A Quixotic Quintet


Fake News Blues “Lock Up the Media”
The news stories about me are all fake
I know some of them seem quite real
those reporters can go jump in a lake
that’s the way most Trumpistas feel
those that actually read printed press
know paper doesn’t refuse ink or tears
regardless of numerous Pulitzer prizes
most of those daily rags are a mess
they have become the lying media
totally over the past two or three years
and so on and so forth talk shows blab
reporters cover the WH and Capitol Hill
plenty of former military and lawyers
give me jab after jab in my flabby flab
their guff almost always makes me ill
despite my insulting most of the free press
you of course are free to pick and choose
any old zinger remember Peter Zenger
I’ll keep singing the Fake News Blues

Inspired by a poem written in Portuguese called Autopsychography by poet Fernando Pessoa (1888-1935).
When Tweets Fail in Jail
When those incessant tweets fail
early in the morning and late at night
and you are afraid of going straight to jail
because your sons have not been too bright
there may be some enlightenment wisdom well
wherever you are going to prison
almost all inmates never will tell
you will soon find out the reason
just sit for a while in your cell
learn to appreciate each passing season
make every incarcerated day well spent
and tweet what it was like to be president
when tweets fail because of a computer crash
just buy another with your ill gotten cash.

Inspired by Chilean poet Pablo Neruda’s poem “If Each Day Falls.”
Wondering and Wandering Through the Dump
Alone in the morning wearing only a bathrobe
I often walk the dumpy White House halls on
uncharted strolls through closets and corners I probe
free at last thank goodness from presidential duty calls
and I ask who’s this bald guy in the oil painting
what’s the location of the pasture and cows behind him
I know the nation tires of my raving and ranting
think I’ll fly down to Mar A Lago tomorrow for a swim
alone I can do it palpable in my befuddled mind
one hundred years from now historians will see
regardless of those who fell and who got left behind
I ruled the WH, special counsels could not deter me
how long will I be here, will I ever see Lincoln’s ghost
I’m not Dolly Madison will I learn to be a gracious host.

Inspired by “Sonnet” written by Catalan poet Josep Vicenc Foix, 1893-1988
I Just Can’t Ignore the Special Counselor
With fixtures of gold my tower lights up the city sky
its windows look out upon the island and country I rule
I have said believe me I can get away with any lie
about my IQ, Trump University, what I learned in school
the Special Counsel is slowly slowly setting me up
with subpoenas, my staff testifying and now indictments
recording every phrase, every comma, every quip
as the lying media is going gaga with excitement
he’s building up a case by the book using no eraser
it may take many months perhaps a few more years
he’s doing it straight no chaser, a real slow pacer
when the shoe falls my base will all be in tears
I need lies that I hope will live and use to lie again
before I tweet myself and friends into a US Federal pen.

Inspiration from “Baruch Spinoza,” a sonnet by Argentine poet Jorge Luis Borges, 1899-1986
To-and-Fro Cabinets Come and Issues Go
Everybody has been complaining since I was elected
about the choices I have made for filling my cabinet
well some are all I could get, some already got rejected
some resigned and some are on the way out you can bet
and its not just the bigly name top cabinet members
some appointments are federal judges who never heard a case
my attorney general is suffering from, “I can’t remember”
my Secretary of State has a Russian oil eagle two face
that billionaire education boss DeVoss is a complete mess
she’s all for vouchers but doesn’t know much else I confess
I got climate deniers and multi millionaires from Wall Street
who can’t tell the difference between a legal tort and a tweet
in my first year believe me it has not been easy come easy go
Flynn working Turkey and Russia and hurricanes in Puerto Rico

Title inspiration from Mexican poet Alfonso Reyes (1889-1959)

Swan Song Dessert: Impeachment A La Mode
“…and when no rule, no precedent was found, of men by laws less circumscribed and bound.”
—John Dryden (1631-1700)

Should we begin the steps towards impeachment now
before some Congress members short term memories fade
should the President take an ethics and morality vow
as his lack of leadership gets more and more decayed
we voted in primaries for candidates as vote we should
many of our votes were influenced by social media
the Republican dirty tricks campaign was up to no good
in collusion with Russia and oligarchs through Wikipedia
will more of 45’s cabinet be called on the carpet and indicted
will the border wall become a simple barbed wire fence
will the issue of 45’s more than twelve sex accusers be reignited
would our nation be better off with former broadcaster Pence
can Congress stop Trump’s reelection three years hence
will impeachment or resignation bring us someone like Pence    

“Oh if the gods would make me rich” you said—gods like a joke, and so they did—“I’d show you all what living’s for.”
– Marcus Valerius Martialis, A.D. 40 – 104

What Living and the Presidency Is For

It doesn’t hurt much to think of him going away
but he made the right decision that had to be faced
What could be better than the Tidal Basin being drained
of those slimy new swamp creatures said their chief
crocodile with a solid gold toothy bling bling smile
Living is for accumulation of wealth and what I can bilk
from my captive nation .The presidency is for life on my
golf courses, taking advantage of money making situations.
for showing whose boss with a government jet for speed
for golden showers, sinks, and toilets whatever I need
above all else epitomizing opportunity cost and greed
on this you can bigly believe me believe me believe me
through my fault through my fault most egregious fault
I care less my millions are safe in a Wall St. bank vault.

Precipitation Cancellation of Golf Vacation
It is four in the morning and its drizzling cold rain
I want to head South tired of tweeting in the dump
and fly into Miami for golf in my Presidential plane
do private checking on dynasty investments of Trump
just back from Asia met up with Rodrigo Duterte
Rody and I refrained from language vulgar and dirty
I took some time to play a little golf in Japan
my new buddy Xi Jin Ping is not a big golfing fan
that Mueller investigation has got me by the ‘calls’
calling my family, cabinet, and bigly business contacts
my mistake firing Comey, Muellers got me by the‘hauls’
hauling information thousands of papers loaded with facts
oh oh too bad the rains still coming down in sheets
guess I’ll hunker down in the dump do more tweets

Joey 'Pepe Batbon' Connolly (Special to the Saipan Tribune)

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