Jack Sprat’s 2021 Diet Resolution
“Jack Sprat could eat no fat his wife could eat no lean
and so betwixt the two of them they licked the platter clean.”
—An old English rhyme first published in 1639
He dyed his hair, to see any white on top was rare
she did the same too until her gray hair turned blue
he wore young people’s hats and clothing styles
walked around farmer’s markets and malls for miles.
She bought gaudy rags from a used clothes thrift store
clearance clothes from big box stores, more and more
they had fallen in love at a bookstore reading cookbooks
one tried putting on, the other losing, any more weight.
They didn’t want to gain or lose and didn’t feel very old
ate what they wanted from recipes in cookbooks they read
paid no attention to their heart doctor’s obesity/skinny scold
loved creamy, rich, fried foods and slathered butter on bread.
On their respective sizes they were never unkind or mean
between the two of them they kept licking the platter clean.
My Last Five Teeth
Three cinquains explains. Cinquains are five unrhymed line poems invented by Adelaide Crapsey (1878 – 1914). MAD Magazine, a comic magazine, had a cartoon character named Alfred E. Newman who had big ears and a gap-toothed smile. He would appear on the cover asking, “What? Me Worry?”
gumming my teeth
not too many are left
bananas are easy to eat
gleaming white fangs
chewing bubble gum now
what me worry?
now I won’t look so Mad
Magazine’s Alfred E. Newman
Joey ‘Pepe Batbon’ Connolly (Special to the Saipan Tribune)
Joey aka Pepe Batbon is a retired educator who taught in the CNMI, NOLA, and LVNV. He is a sonnet practitioner who enjoys stargazing.