Satires, 45th Presidential Library, and Eulogy

Perusing Purloined Presidential Library Plans: A Satire

“I‘ve lived out one more day than I should have lived. Fortune, unrestrained in prosperity and ill, were it your pleasure with the lure and praise of letters, to shatter the very summit of my good name,”
—excerpt from An Old Actor Addresses Julius Caesar by Decimus Laberius, (c. 105 – 43 B.C.)

45th POTUS started his 2020 campaign rallies shortly after taking office
do you remember his declared slogan? forgotten now? due to good advice
the presidential library probably down on his golf course in Mira Lago
illegal immigrants (already employed) bring you drinks on Russian ice
he shortened length of golf greens and tees to make room and save money.
 A special auditorium with a cyber seat for every day 45 has been in office
each seat will show tweets on a screen for each day he’s been in the WH
redactions and US presidentially approved post tweet deletions/subtractions
will be removed and /or changed due to fact checking lies and memory loss
if the Donald happens to ever be finally reading one… uh… fugeddaboutit.
There will be few hardcover or paperback books found in the library’s nooks
only praise Donald covers of pre-presidential copies of the National Enquirer
headlines all written and saved in a safe by his editor buddy David Pecker
all guaranteed to be soothing balm for the red burned base vote rednecker
45 didn’t write or read much; none by any former employee fact checker.
 When the library is finished or open is anyone’s guess, only the Donald’s call
guarantee it will be completely surrounded by an impenetrable barrier or wall.

POTUS Eulogies: One of the First, Future One Proposed for 45

On Dec. 26 in 1799 former first president George Washington was eulogized by Col. Henry Lee as, “First in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.” Two hundred thirty years later a proposal for after the demise of our present POTUS 45.
First in hyperbole, first in denial, first among narcissists among fellow countrymen. First and highest number of tweets, first in over 9,000 fact-checked lies term to date. First to say on TV to the public that a congressional investigation was “bullshit”
Hopefully the last president installed in office as a result of Electoral College votes. Hopefully he pays years of back taxes, pays fines for crimes of tax and bank fraud. Hopefully last to denigrate women in public and pay to have prostitutes shut up. Hopefully last to call the media ‘enemy of the people’ in defiance of the US Constitution. Hopefully last to badmouth our basic democratic institutions the DOJ and the FBI.
A few words from 45 on his declared “national emergency” and separation of thousands of children from their parents and kept in chain link fence enclosures along the border of Mexico. “I didn’t need to do this, but I’d rather do it much faster.” —President Donald J. Trump.

Joey 'Pepe Batbon' Connolly Author
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