Tweeting in the Cave of Spleen


Author’s Note: Spleen was the 18th century’s name for what we now call depression. Rich, idle people were particularly subject to spleen in the days of Alexander Pope (1688 -1744) who sent a fictional character to an imaginary place (the cave of Spleen) in his mock epic, The Rape of the Lock. In this sonnet, we find DJT in a cave of Spleen.
Only paltry offense from twaddling twit comes
nevertheless I persisted with my smart thumbs
as daylight dawns my kingdom wakes and yawns
I tweet to millions, a golden King to my pawns.

My subjects read whatever subject bothered me most
and the lying media reacts from coast to coast
news shows parade despicable attitudes towards me
I watch all of them closely and daily on a separate TV.

I skip reading each and every single intelligence brief
preferring to hear oral versions in my office in DC
where I’m the boss, the bigly commander in chief
and my stable genius is on display there for all to see.

Diplomatic leadership is not my forte, I’m not discreet
insults and repetition make up much of what I tweet
Take the Trump Train
While it’s still on the rails and before it fails

Take the ‘A’ train address to Adultery Avenue
take the ‘L’ train South to Lying Boulevard
take the ‘T’ train to TweeterTown for a short view
take a walk on Trump’s wild side, not too ‘hard’
take the ‘P’ train north to Pyongyang
before any such proposed talk fails
before nuclear holocaust and a Big Bang
take the ‘D’ train to the Devils in the Details
take an ICBM up into the outer space race
take the ‘O’ train to Offensive Oaf’s Oval Office
take the ‘M’ train past Manic Mouth Falls
take the ‘G’ train to gander at his unmovable base
take a look at his tax returns when in place
Better yet take a self driving Uber before its over
to Trumptyland ‘uber alles’ WH and White Tower.
Author’s Note: A complete train route showing Trump Train connecting lines is available on a new line of Trump toilet paper. Everybody’s gotta go in more ways than one, ALTP (a little toilet paper), Drumpf’s, I C BM, Oh My God; A.L.T.P.D. ICBM. OMG. acrimonious acrostic.‘uber alles’ means ‘above all’ in German.

Joey 'Pepe Batbon' Connolly

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