Virtue and Vice/Naughty and Nice


“Eat not to dullness, drink not to elevation”
—from the autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, 1793.

Temperance Tattle
Beer, wine, and whiskey does not exist to please itself
in glasses, bottles and cans as it sits there on a shelf
sometime when you feel like riding high on a horse
seek a slower gait and ride easy in sobriety’s saddle
you might indulge in a short little vino veritas course
don’t let inebriation or getting drunk win the battle
that might also be said for gluttony and fried fat food
gobbling sweets and guzzling booze in a manner rude
moderate your consumption in eating and drinking
eat hearty and enjoy any alcohol you may consume
stop before slurred speech and muddled thinking
excess fat and booze may lead to an early tomb
take it easy on too much as you go through life
so you don’t wind up like Jack Sprat and his wife.

Intemperance Intellection
All around them hangs an amazing alcoholic aura
a cold conflagration of conspicuous consumption
of jiggers, shots, pints, fifths, quarts, a plethora
fulfilling a fun filled but possibly fatal function
cool cats, dirty dawgs, other drunken carnivora
follow each other on trips to a juiced up junction
riding high on a hog and three sheets to the winds
going ninety miles an hour down a thunder road
white lightening and Two Buck Chuck best friends
hangovers wake up calls heads about to explode
just can’t seem to leave a few drops in the bottle
befuddled boozy brains mix fantasy with fiction
roaring down Night Train mountain on full throttle
deep defiant denial facing acute alcohol addiction.

Joey ‘Pepe Batbon’ Connolly
Special to the Saipan Tribune

Joey “Pepe Batbon” Connolly is a retired teacher and has been named a poet laureate of Tinian. He has taught English in CNMI public schools for the past 30 years. He has also taught in Alaska, New Orleans, and Las Vegas.

Joey ‘Pepe Batbon’ Connolly

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