To the usher at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Cathedral
I write this letter to inform fellow parishioners of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Cathedral about my family’s experience on Sunday, Aug. 27, 2017, and to explain why I am now a former member because of the hateful note given to me by you, a representative of the church. I’ve included your note below with a few grammatical corrections for clarity:
“I’m appalled that you would bring your children’s toys and allow them to eat in the house of worship. It was distracting to watch the display of toy cars and distracting to the rest of the parishoners [sic], who cannot sit on [sic] that particular area where cars are at but [sic, wrong usage] diverts our attention to it. Maybe you haven’t thought about this [,] but I felt you needed to know. It’s unfair to me and probably others to watch what was going on with your family. What happened to coming to God’s house to pray and commit to the faithful that they too want the same thing? [sic] No food, NO [for emphasis] toys [,] [n]o distractions? [sic] “
If you recall, the homily on Sunday was about everyone being welcomed into the house of God: “all are welcome.” Apparently, this invitation was not extended to my family of four. I’m deeply saddened, distraught, and disappointed you, while representing our church, would judge us in this way. Please, consult Mathew 7:1~5: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you…” (NIV). I will not judge you, only God should. I ask you kindly to do the same concerning me and my family.
We bring our “distractions”—children—to church in hopes to hear the Word; we give them toys and snacks to keep them quiet so they do not scream, whine, yell, or cry during service; we apologize for their “disturbance” and will no longer attend Mass at Chalan Kanoa. It is my belief that the Catholic Church is about acceptance, tolerance, love to all; I did not feel any of those things in your note. I can appreciate and respect your opinion but not how it was delivered. With prayer and reflection, we hope you address similar families with young children differently.
Adam Walsh
San Vicente, Saipan
gone are the days when the Church is revered as STRICTLY A PLACE OF WORSHIP. When we were young as a toddler, Mom never fails to remind us that in Church, we need to BEHAVE, WORSHIP, BE SILENT, as it is the House of the LORD! It all emanates on how the family brings the faith down to generations. I am also appalled of having to see children in church with their i-pads, toys, eats, runs around, instead of having told to revere and respect the House of God. Not only the House of God but being mindful, considerate of other faithfuls. I guess, FAMILY should be the core in values & faith. I don’t mean to offend anyone. But given the choice, I prefer to go back to the old practice of teaching the children as young as they are the virtue of reverence, worship, silence when in Church. My heart goes with you if the servant of the LORD did not handle your situation with humility and gentleness of spirit.
You have a point. The church is adept at getting the faithful to follow orders. This has nothing to do with spirituality, love, forgiveness or the ability to think for oneself.
Christopher Marlow said this in 1593: The church exists as a means of control and to keep men in awe.”
If you want to be a member of a religion, there are rules, which the faithful are supposed to follow. Young kids probably won’t understand the Words, or what they mean, so they bring toys along. Personally, I have no problem with that, so long as the toys don’t squeak.
But the more important issue is the absence of spirituality, which the church does not encourage. A truly spiritual person needs no religion (which has been defined as “Mankind’s despair for not finding God.”)
Becoming a spiritual person is not easy because it requires the individual to do their own seeking; to find their own way, and to establish a direct relationship with God, Jesus, or some other deity.
This often requires meditation, prayer, introspection, and to fine-tune one’s intuitive abilities. Miracles happen constantly; the trick is to notice, to pay attention, and to give thanks.
Above all is the necessity for love. In its simplest terms, it means to care and love for others more than oneself. A truly spiritual person is not only loving, they are also without ego. This is important because ego is the antithesis of Spirit. One can not be egotistical and spiritual because they cancel each other out.
In my view, all religions are cults, designed to keep a leash on their followers. But they have no sway over a spiritual person, because the person doesn’t need a religion for grace, miracles or even living a great life. A spiritual person has his or her own direct connection, which is most readily perceived intuitively.
Mr. Walsh, there are some books which you may find useful. These include “Conversations with God,” “A Course in Miracles,” and “Autobiography of a Yogi.” I would also steer you to YouTube and the videos of Tom Campbell. If anyone understands how reality works, it’s Tom.
This is a great opportunity for spiritual growth and to leave the controlling church in the past.
Controlling and hypocrites.
The whole basis for religion is a way to control the “faithful” and to threaten them with hell or purgatory if they get out of line. Not exactly loving, forgiving, or spiritual.
Well said Russ…I like Yogi. Religion is a way of life, it is not being a Catholic, Muslim, etc. You can not be human in ‘essence’ unless you are spiritual. Body & Soul.
Religions are useful because they offer, comfort, tradition and a sense of community. Singing carols at Christmas is a fine and often joyous experience.
Where many religions fall short is that they do not provide instruction or encouragement for the individual to develop spiritually; that is, to develop one’s own’s intuitive connection to God and creation. Because, when that happens, the organized religion become irrelevant, though still enjoyable on many levels.
Who are they to say who is or is not welcomed into Christ’s Church?!
A good church to visit would be the St Jude Parish in Kobler. You’ll love it there. It’s congregation is growing steadily
Most people have needs which religion often fills. But it has nothing to do with spiritual growth; it’s more of a feel-good experience.
So the usher sent this family a PRIVATE note about keeping their children under control during church and then is PUBLICLY shamed for it. THAT is what is not right here. The usher was trying to do his job and ensure a peaceful place of worship for the majority of patrons. But because one family wants to let their kids play and eat as though they are at home in their living room this usher is now criticized? Was this family really so sensitive they needed to make a fuss over a small note? How was this note “hateful”?? Mr. Walsh is being quite hypocritical if you ask me.
I’m not a big fan of organized religion are doing the whole church thing, but, if you are you have to know that the religion and the church have rules. And by joining the church, attending the church you agree to obey those rules. So you didn’t like the fact that an usher left you a note, instead of embarrassing you publicly? So you publish the note in hopes of embarrassing the church. I think this behavior is very selfish and self-centered. I am always amazed how mainland Americans come to the islands, mistake the loving way islanders raise their children for absolute permissiveness (anarchy) and then get upset when they’re called on their nonsense. Were there other children acting the fool in the church or do you think yourself and your family uber special? Just a thought..
Lots of ego and judgement. Not much love, forgiveness or Spirit.
Also keep in mind many who attend services are elderly and perhaps hard of hearing or dealing with other health issues. Attending church on Sunday may be the only outing they have for the week. We should all be mindful not to disrupt their enjoyment of the sermon. That this man and his family would QUIT going to this church because of a fairly polite reminder on manners does not speak much of their devotion. Were they kicked out of church? I don’t think so, they were tolerated, yes shown tolerance. Furthermore to make corrections on the grammar of an, I’m assuming, quickly jotted note is petty and was obviously done to belittle the usher.
Well, unless this issue is made PUBLIC, how else will there be change? 99% of the time if no one says anything out loud, nothing changes. especially with the ‘church’…
It won’t be made public, because the editor of The Saipan Tribune decided to no longer make this story available to the public.
I am a Chamorro Catholic who acknowledges that churches are merely buildings – beautiful, grand, artistic buildings.
However, I also acknowledge that churches are places of respect, quiet introspection, and listening to religious teachings/sermons…even if some sermons sound exactly the same for weeks, but that is another issue for an entirely different thread.
What really matters is if their congregation/parishioners actually believe what they profess they do.
The whole matter of belief is subjective, and is based on what others have said and passed own. This is in contrast to spirituality, where the person develops his or her own contact with God and creation. This is not taught, but it certainly is possible.
You also have to take into account that most in the CNMI have been culturally Catholic since the Spanish occupation.
I even have family members who are not Catholic (mostly other Christian), yet they still respect the sanctity of the church.
But to each his own.
I have no love loss for the Catholic church even though I was an alter boy when the mass was still recited in Latin and on my many travels being raised by many different families had more than once attended parochial schools.
Not knowing this family, It would seem that Mr Walsh is also one of those that see nothing wrong to bring their children to restaurants and let them run wild all over the place yelling and screaming and raising hell, disturbing other dinners.
On many occasions I have encountered this and when the restaurants have failed to address the problem (or the parents) we have left without paying and no longer would patronize the place again.
Church and restaurants and other such places are NOT playgrounds. (AND airplanes) Kids should be taught at home to respect others and their surroundings and circumstances around them AND listen to their parents.
All kids actions reflects back at the parents and the the way they bring up their children.
Ex: A responsible parent would bring their baby (or child) outside to calm it down if it starts crying and disturbing others. (but should not bring to such places in the first place if uncontrollabe)
This is along the same lines as people that sit in places yelling into their cell phones disturbing others instead of going outside.
Would Mr. Walsh sit in church carrying on a conversation on his Cell disturbing other’s? (maybe so)
BTW, I have a pocket cell signal blocker to be able to terminate such obnoxious people on their cells, whish could do the same with obnoxious kids.
Again, any Church is not a playground, bring the kids to McDonalds or a playground (which I do not patronize due to the noisy kids)
Also this comment is not race specific so don’t get that idea.
You express many good points about manners, respect for others, and a sense of what is appropriate behavior.
I no longer go to lunch at a San Antonio resort because there are lots of noisy kids. What I learned was to never return there. There are many quieter options for lunch around here.