Too many government holidays

When I first retired from government in 1993 (after 23 years), I landed a job at a big and highly respectable company. My co-workers noticed the seriousness with which I conduct myself on the job. In fact, I was given the nickname “Mr. Arrogant” for a very deceptive long face I was born with or must have developed as I think through issues daily. Mother Nature gave it to me as I exited my mother’s womb 49 years ago.

A fresh graduate of “Life After Government”, I was used to a lot of holidays which I take at every opportunity hitting the golf links here. Apparently, this habit of holidays every other day was stuck with me even in my new job in the private sector. I was ignorant that private sector employees are given a list of holidays to select from upon which the majority choice is followed. And I didn’t know that it really boiled down to basically four holidays versus 10-12 in the public sector.

It was hard shaking off a long bad habit. Every holiday that swings around, I’d observe it and return the next day with enthusiasm ready to tackle my assignments. One day, I was taken aback when the secretary whether I was sick the day before. I answered “It was a holiday!” She politely related: “Yes, JR, but it was a government holiday, not a company holiday”. I asked for a listing of company holidays only to humbly hide my humiliation.

Today, my work week begins on Sundays when most others are headed to the beach or family ranch. Admittedly, I finally unlearned government holidays and don’t even try to recall them anymore. It’s wasteful thinking! I even wrote myself a resolution of condolence, including an internment ceremony so I could bury the beast permanently. The only holidays that matter now are Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year.

I wish I could observe the essence of President’s Day. But since we are relegated from the electoral process because of geography–situated outside mainstream America–I use that day planting taro, banana, tapioca, reading or strumming my guitar. The benefits of gardening promises greater return than wasting my time on a holiday that only crystallizes that we are all half-cocked US Citizens. Well, at least it’s a unique citizenship.

Then there’s Columbus Day widely celebrated for discovering America. This is another ridiculous holiday in that logic dictates that if Native Americans have been in the country before Columbus landed, how can anyone reasonably argue that it was a discovery. Was it a discovery of a new country or a discovery of Native Americans whom the white man has killed and robbed of their land? Nah, this holiday is as ridiculous as observing Magellan’s Day. And not after he baptized these isles Ladrones!

Imagine if the private sector is mandated to observe all the government holidays, annually. Gee, we’d all be filing chapter eleven cases as a new mining industry here. I ought to include a chapter in my proposed book: How to success with public holidays. What a way to screw the private sector and their hardworking employees, yeah? It’s the group I call the “Royal Savage Squad!”