The Ethic of Respect

Our children need a clear set of ethical values by which to lead their life. They need to know how to behave, how to conduct their everyday encounters, how to act when the choices they make affect and impact on others. They need to know the difference between right and wrong. And it is us–the parents–from whom our children learn the good, decent and the right way to live. We parents are role models for children who will in turn develop their own values and ethical standards.

We are our children’s role models and they will mimic everything we do whether it is the language we use, the way we dress and groom, the way we treat others.

As an example, the way our children see us treating our own parents, they will learn to respect and honor the elderly, and, in turn they will imitate you and me and observe the rule to honor their father and mother–you–when you are old. Let me tell you a short story.

There was an old man who lied in his son’s house. Life was very pleasant for him; he had his own room with ample space for all his things. His son and daughter-in-law treated him well. He also had a young grandson in whom he took great delight. Every evening, the family gathered around a large table for dinner. There they shared good food and quiet conversation. The man was happy and content.

As the years went by, the old man’s health began to fail. His hands began to shake and sometimes, because of his trembling hands, he would spill his tea or drop his plate. With each spill, the son became more and more upset at his father.

One evening, as the family sat around the dinner table, the man accidentally hit his bowl with his soup spoon, and the bowl broke, spilling soup all over the table. The man’s son jumped up from his place and shouted at his father. “What’s wrong with you” You are too clumsy. If you can’t eat properly at our table, you will have to eat alone in your room. I’m tired of you spilling food and breaking our good dishes”.

The next day the son brought home a wooden bowl, and from then on the old man ate his dinner in his own room out of this wooden bowl. He said nothing to his son or daughter-in-law, but being away from his family at dinnertime pained him very much.

One day when the son came home from work, he found his young boy sitting at the workbench in the garage, quietly working on a project. “What are you making?”, he asked.

His young son proudly held up his work. “I am making a wooden bowl. I am carving it all by myself”. “A wooden bowl?” asked his father. “What will you use it for?” We already have such beautiful dishes”.

And the little boy answered, “I know, dad, but I am making this bowl for you, when you grow old like grandpa and come to live with me. When your hands begin to shake and you break my plates, I’ll have this bowl ready for you to use in your room”.

When the father heard this, immediately he ran to his father and fell to his knees. “Father, my father, I am so sorry. Please, please forgive me for not showing you the respect and honor that is rightly yours”.

And that night the whole family sat together again at the big round dining room table.