Bing-Bong Medical Center and Karaoke Bar

Kingdom of Mffubi (Gonzo Wire Service)–This tropical Pacific island, once a sleepy tourism spot, has found itself thrust into the international limelight as a center for cut-rate sex change operations.

The Kingdom, which formerly admitted only U.S. approved doctors into the health care profession, recently changed its laws, and permitted doctors from the world over to ply their trades on the island–no questions asked.

The island was soon flooded with doctors–or alleged doctors–from 24 different countries.

Several medical clinics that had provided affordable heath care to island
residents, where brief office visits cost only $25, went out of business. Said one American trained doctor, “This is what I get for serving the community with quality, affordable heath care. The Kingdom floods the market with doctors of dubious qualifications, and the oversupply of doctors has driven me out of business.”

Indeed, next door to the now closed Chalan Kanoa Family Medical Clinic is the booming Bing- Bong Medical Center and Karaoke Bar.
One banner in the window says “Neurosurgery– complete package!–$155. Sex change, $110 (new parts), $90 (used or rebuilt parts).
Ladies drinks half off! Cash only!”
While the U.S. certified doctors quietly packed their bags, closed their practices, and moved away, the Kingdom–renowned for having a penchant for the seedy side of life–became a major sex change operation center. A dozen major centers opened up, selling “cut-rate” operations to an Asian clientele that wanted to recover from their operations on the sleepy shores of this tropical paradise.

The fledgling industry soon took a toll on the overburdened Puerto Rico dump. “This dump is a veritable pile of discarded body parts,” said Johnny Basura, manager of the facility. “I’ve issued the workers hip-waders and meat hooks.”

Mr. Basura declined to cite the Kingdom’s changed medical laws for the problem, but did offer this guidance: “You know the hot dog on a stick at Joey’s Puerto Rico BBQ stand? My advice is not to order it.”

Island residents, meanwhile, have complained that they are now totally without affordable medical care. Said Mrs. Jane Smith, a mother of five, “we used to have doctors who we knew and trusted to take care of our families.
Those days are gone.” She observed, “You need a U.S. license to drive the banana boat in the lagoon, but not to practice medicine? It’s insane.”
Meanwhile, business at Akbar and Fred’s Cryonics Laboratory was reported brisk. Said Dr. Akbar Nebokaneezer, “if you are not feeling so well, we can cut off your head and freeze your body in nitrogen. When a cure is discovered for your ailment, we’ll thaw you out and fix you up.”

Dr. Nebokaneezer declined to elaborate further on the process, though he did say that “not a single patient has filed a complaint against us. And, if you sign up now, you’ll get a free set of Tupperware! I love this country!”