A formula film that works quite nicely

Ice Princess; 1:32, Rated G; Grade: B-

Chicken kelaguen is a simple recipe. So is a cheeseburger. But if the recipes are so simple, how do so many people screw them up, while a select few end up looking like culinary geniuses? The answer is that while the recipe is good, the true art is in the execution. A good cook, with good ingredients, could turn Spam and rice into a delicacy. And I just made myself hungry with this stupid intro.

Ditto all that for movies. Very rarely do we see Hollywood productions from the major studios that show any originality. Even so, with proper execution, a movie with a simple, tried-and-true recipe can be made right, and it tastes just as good as the first time you ate it. Er, watched it. Ice Princess is one such movie.

In Ice Princess, Michelle Trachtenberg is Casey Carlyle, a super-duper genius of limited financial means, on track to receive a scholarship to Harvard for her achievements in physics. For her latest science project, she wants to discover the scientific equations behind her favorite sport to watch on TV, figure skating. And by golly, she gets it! Mass times the speed of light, plus velocity, divided by the centrifugal jabberwocky = the perfect triple lutz!

While working on her science project, she discovers that her passion in life is not in a laboratory or textbook, but on the skating rink. But to follow her desires would be to go against the wishes of her mother, and a tremendous risk to her future. Gee, I wonder what she’ll do.

All of the key sports-movie ingredients are in place in Ice Princess: Underdog can’t possibly win. Disapproving parental unit. Personal transformation. Musical montage. Token love interest. Ultimate triumph. Yes! And we can all walk out of the theater cheering.

Like a Hard Rock burger and a Marge’s Kitchen chicken kelaguen, this movie is well-made. Trachtenberg (Eurotrip, Inspector Gadget) is particularly good in her first true starring role, and she’s backed up nicely by most of her supporting actresses, save for Joan Cusack, as her overbearing mom.

The actresses are, of course, all helped by the fact that the script they’re reading from is pretty darn good, considering the genre. Hadley Davis, a TV writer making his feature film debut, does a good job keeping the characters within the realm of reality, even if the plot is a stretch, and some deep issues (for a G-movie) are handled with real grace.

But the real kudos belongs to director Tim Fywell, another TV vet making his big-screen debut. Ice Princess is well paced, and moves skillfully between teen drama, sports action, fluffy fun, and back to teen drama.

There is one thing, though—the only way you can possibly enjoy Ice Princess is if you’re able to completely suspend all disbelief. A physics equation for figure skating? Sure. A lifelong bookworm can suddenly learn, in a couple months, what takes athletes years to perfect? Maybe not.

If that kind of thing bugs you, though, you really shouldn’t watch movies at all. This is fantasy. Let it go.

Ice Princess is clearly aimed at young females. First of all, it’s about figure skating, a sport that most men laugh at. Secondly, the cast is almost entirely female. It’s almost as if the film was shot 200 years in the future, by which time sperm will surely be manufactured in factories, making men obsolete. But these are not criticisms, only obsvervations. Besides, have you ever noticed that almost all movies are targeted at men?

Anyway, before watching it, I was worried I’d have to pull out my play-pretend-pen and write something like, “I didn’t particularly enjoy this movie, but I imagine I would have if I were part of the target audience.” I hate writing stuff like that, because I really have no idea what movies your daughter will like, so I’m glad I don’t have to. I, a 29-year-old heterosexual male, diehard football fan, enjoyed watching Ice Princess. Maybe you will, too.

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Comments? E-mail Weindl at joewatchesmovies@yahoo.com.